People assume that the big moment of independence is when you leave your childhood home to go to college. Letters are written by neighbors, tears are shed by parents, and excessive amounts of target dorm gear are purchased. Everyone assumes that the big moment of departure, of the little birdie leaving the nest, is when you move into your college dorm and your parents drive away leaving you to fend for yourself for the first time, theoretically.
However, these dorms come equipped with laundry machines, meal plans, and and RAs. They make sure that you aren't going to get lost, aren't going to starve, and aren't going to have bacteria growing in your bathroom from a lack of cleaning. So, in practicality, is that the real moment of departure? Are you really entering the world of adulthood when you move into this place fully equipped with facilities to keep you on the straight and narrow?
I know I never felt truly independent simply going to college. I felt cared for and watched out for and while there was more freedom, I still didn't feel like I was entirely fending for myself. I'm not truly independent living in the sorority house either. The same resources of meal plans and built in cleaning still apply. There is also a lack of permanence in these two residences. You “move in” but you are still very mobile. You are prepared to leave after a set period of time and go live somewhere else. Because of this, your “home” is still likely your house in your hometown. You don't feel fully moved into somewhere else so that is still your default “home.”
The time I have felt most that I am leaving the nest for good is actually this year when contemplating moving into my junior and senior year house. For the first time, I am moving into a house that I am paying to rent where no one is taking care of me. I am staying for the next two years without spending any real “living” time at home, with the exception of breaks. For the first time, I feel like I am actually moving away from home and leaving my parent's house for good. Something about signing your first lease and paying money to live in a house whose upkeep you are responsible incites a feeling of true independence very different from the dorm experience freshman year.
Preparing to fully move my life into a real house and telling my parents that I will not be home for more than two weeks at a time again, maybe ever, has made me realize that I really am not a child anymore. I really am moving away from home and starting a life that I am responsible for. This awakening has taken me largely by surprise as that was what I expected to happen when I left for college for the first time. I have found myself having to mentally prepare to create a new home in a way I thought I already had. However, I have found that I am very prepared for it as I thought I was in the first place. This gradual process of assimilation to adult life has made me very confident in my ability to be self sufficient and excited to test my capabilities for freedom and independence.
