In honor of the beautiful time of year we call spring break and my eternal love for all things "Parks & Rec" related, I have decided to bring the two together in one article. Based on my own knowledge, and with some help from Wikipedia, I have created an irrefutable list of where and what the characters would be doing for their break. So, if you have ever wondered what kind of spring breakers the hardworking people of Pawnee are, here you go.
Leslie Knope – Educational Experience
You may be in Washington DC or Pawnee, but, either way, you are learning or doing something educational. I applaud you, brave reader; you aren’t on a beach getting tan, instead, you are investing in knowledge that will somehow help humanity one day. Just know, you have my vote.
Ron Swanson – Camping/Hiking/Chopping Wood
Excess is your enemy. You are enjoying this break from school in the best place Mother Nature could provide: nature. It is safe to say you are probably eating meat of some kind. You aren't around too many, if any, people, and are basking in the solitude this break has provided.
April Ludgate – Home
You hate people. You don’t want to be around people. Enjoy this week off full of hate, Netflix, and no commitments.
Donna Meagle – DR? Puerto Rico? Greece? On a yacht?
You have been waiting for this moment for months, and now that break is finally here, you are going to go big and not go home. The possibilities are endless. You are probably basking in the sun, drinking an overpriced drink with a lavish amount of adornment, wondering how you can “treat yo' self” next.
Jerry/Gary/Larry/Terry Gergich – Plans fell through, now you’re home
You tried. You really, really tried, but, alas, your plans fell through, probably because of something you forgot to do, but that’s okay. You’ve kept an unnecessarily positive attitude, and now you are home, probably singing breakfast songs with the family. Keep on keepin’ on, whatever your name is.
Andy Dwyer – PCB/Daytona
You’re drunk, maybe in a ditch, but congrats, you have achieved the quintessential college experience. You are probably drinking Natty/PBR/Costco brand beer next to a hundred other half-clothed college individuals wondering how life could get any better.
Tom Haverford – Clubbin’
No matter where you are, you have found the club, and you are drinking SnakeJuice while simultaneously making ingenious business deals that will benefit the swag of people everywhere.
Chris Traeger – Running a marathon
You have been working for that spring break bod for not weeks, not months, but years. You are literally a prime physical specimen and are taking this break to put this to continue your healthy journey. I hope you live to be 150, and I hope you enjoy your “break."
Ben Wyatt – Skiing/Snowboarding
It’s like Icetown 2.0, only this time, you are hitting the slopes instead of running a whole city into the ground financially. Spring isn’t a time for a warm destination, but instead a time to go back to your cold roots and enjoy the snow and ice.
Li'l Sebastian – On a farm (maybe in horsey heaven)
Maybe the past couple of weeks of classes have been hard, almost as hard as being the most famous and beloved miniature horse in Pawnee. You needed a break and went back to the farm to max and relax with your fellow animal friends. I sincerely hope you are not in horsey heaven, but if you are, tell Lil' Sebastian we love him.
Ann Perkins – Mission Trip
You “cunning, pliable, chestnut-haired sunfish," putting your nursing knowledge to good use. You are everything that is good in this world, you are helping people in your time off, and I hope you are having a great time.
Let’s be honest, we are all winners, no matter where or who we are. This is a week of no school, no tests, and no urgent need to be awake by 8 a.m. Enjoy your break, homies.
