We now live in a time where individuals feel that Instagram likes and "BAE ilysm *kissy face emoji*" comments on posts validate their friendships somehow, or at least show the outside world that those friendships exist and are "genuine." I won't lie, I'm guilty of the same. I spread Instagram love to my beautiful sorority sisters and my close friends from back home. I'll #wcw my best friend regardless of whether or not it really is Wednesday, and I get a major ego boost when one of my friends sends me Internet love as well. However, a friend from the past whom I've reconnected with this summer has brought to mind the importance of showing affection to your platonic friends outside the Internet and lighthearted banter.
This particular friend and I have spent almost every day together the past few months, and I've noticed a habit in her that I truly love and appreciate--she vocalizes her love and appreciation for me and the things I do as a friend to her. When I first started noticing her making these comments, I wasn't sure how to react. I'm one of those really awkward and uncomfortable people who hate hugs and I really and truly have no idea how to accept a compliment. I can only imagine how awkward I came across in response to her statements like "I enjoy your company dude," and "I'm so happy that you exist at the same time as me, what a blessing." I started thinking about how much I enjoyed hearing that and how much I appreciated her existence and companionship as well, and whether or not I had told her so. Beyond that, I started thinking about my other close friends and whether or not they knew how much I loved and appreciated them and I made it a personal goal to start being more openly affectionate to those who were not my significant other.
You can show love to your friends in so many ways; asking if they made it home safely (or the electronic equivalent now, using an app and being able to see where they are on their walk home after a night out to make sure they get there safely), bringing treats (be it wine, candy, or milkshakes) after a tough exam or bad breakup, canceling a date or taking off work to spend the day with you because you're depressed or anxious (or being understanding when you drop off the face of the Earth for a while without contacting anyone), covering the bill at lunch when you know they're struggling, remembering important test dates and wishing them luck beforehand, or buying the Kat Von D foundation that you know they've been saving up for. These are all things that my wonderful sisters and friends have done for me, and I look back now to realize I could definitely have shown my appreciation much more than "OMG thank you guys you're saints you rock!" My appreciation to these beautiful human beings goes much deeper than that, and should be expressed accordingly.
It's not creepy to tell your friends you appreciate them, and it isn't weird if you don't purposely giggle and joke around while you are saying something sentimental to lighten the weight of your statement (you all know what I'm talking about). Before this realization, there were definitely friends I expressed my love to more often than others based on how sociable or reserved they are. One of my closest and longest friendships (now a very long distance one as she lives in Europe right now) is with one of the most shy and reserved people I know, and pairing that with my moderately introverted and extremely awkward personality I found difficulty telling her that I missed her and was proud of and ecstatic for her for all the cool things she was doing. I thought she would feel uncomfortable. To my more outgoing friends, I'd blow up their social media or post cute Instagram photos pouring my heart out about how much I adored their existence, but could never muster up the courage to say it to their face and never thought twice about whether or not it was a problem or something that could be improved--now, it is one of the things I am currently focusing on changing.
Admire the important people in your life--both your soul mates (sometimes the soul mates aren't meant to be significant others) and friends you may not spend much time with. Lift them up on their bad days, but make sure you're lifting them up on their good days too. Don't wait for a drunken and sloppy "OMG I love you guys so much I don't know what I'd do without you" rant (although don't stop doing that, those are great too). It doesn't take a huge favor or act of kindness to show your love all the time, and you'd be surprised at how much some of your friends need to hear the things that you're afraid to say. Check in with them if you haven't heard from them in a while, and don't be afraid to be specific or applaud little things. Your friends don't need you to tell them that you love them in order to know, but it definitely doesn't hurt to vocalize it a little more. This doesn't apply to just females either. Your guy friends need to know that they kicked ass on that exam or that their new position in that student org is a really big deal and that you admire them for that. It really and truly does not have to be an uncomfortable experience--even for the most socially awkward human, take it from me.
