“I mean look at you, you were obviously not spoiled,” he said. I was ready to instantly agree with his statement. My beat up and used 2009 Kia Rio speak for itself in this instance. But instead of agreeing with him, I immediately became defensive.
“I am spoiled,” I said.
“How are you spoiled,” he replied.
“With love,” and as soon as I said it, I meant it.
My family does not live in the nicest house on the block and when it comes to our finances we have had our share of struggles. But never did I feel like I was missing out on anything, never did I feel the pressure of not living a lavish life style.
Instead of having babysitters while my parents worked 40 hours a week, I was smothered in kisses and “I love yous” from my grandparents. I grew up watching my father devote himself to his manual laboring job, whatever it was at the time. He would come home drenched in sweat, covered in dirt, and beat red from being out in the sun all day. I was surprised when I grew up to find out that those long hours at work only gave us so much stability financially. I learned at a young age the importance of hard work, even if you are just making enough to get by.
Family always came first. Dinners every night were spent sitting around the table together while we vent to one another about our day. The weekly breakfast with my grandfather, and weekly pizza night with my grandmother, were always something my siblings and I looked forward to. Traditions were formed and family values were bestowed upon my brother, sisters and I whether we liked it or not.
I would not trade the time I got to spend with my family for all of the expensive make-up products that tempt me when I go into Sephora or the newest BMW. My parents would have given me the world, as cliché as that sounds, if they were able too. I do not doubt that. But what they do not realize is that instead of the world, they gave me something better, something more tangible. They gave me memories I will remember and cherish once they are no longer here with me. They taught me what hard work and dedication can get you. They encouraged me to chase my dreams, never once doubting me.
Were there times when I felt frustrated for not being able to have some of the latest trends? Of course. Every teenager feels the pressure to fit in with their peers and be accepted. As soon as I asked for whatever the new trend was, whether it was a Michael Kors bag, or a Fossil watch, guilt would consume me once I had heard my parents reluctantly say OK.
I knew that the value of anything materialistic could never compare to the time I got to spend with my family. I was not by any means poor, just not extremely wealthy. But that is OK. Instead of having parents that were gone all day and all night, working extraneous hours at a time, I had parents that knew it would be more important to invest their time in their children than into their careers. I am grateful for that.
Being spoiled often has a negative connotation to it. It’s the assumption that you were given everything you wanted without possibly being deserving of it. But being spoiled in the materialistic sense is different than with love and attention. When you are spoiled with love, you grow up to be loving. You grow up having a spot in your heart for others, even strangers when you see they are struggling. You learn the impact that love has on others, and how healing it can be to just be told you are loved. You know that after a long day at school, or at work, you are coming home to someone who will devote their attention to you while you vent. You know that you are going to be welcomed with hugs and kisses when you walk through that door. I do not think anything of materialistic value could ever compare to the feeling of being loved and appreciated.
So no, I was not technically “spoiled”. But at the same time, I was.
