Let’s get one thing straight: Indiana winters are a mystery, no matter where in the state you live. This winter has been especially strange; it was in the 50s for most people on Christmas Day, and the only real cold streak (if you can call it that) happened during the last week of winter break. We all know the snow and cold are coming to Bloomington soon, though, and students at IU will be forced to deal with not only snow and cold from big systems that take over the country, but also from the lake that, while fun in the summer, wreaks havoc on the area essentially from November to March.
Oh, wait. That actually happens in my hometown, which is in extreme Northern Indiana. For the first 18 years of my life, I had to deal with living in a town that was very seriously named “The Snow Capital of Indiana.” We have been known to get over 100 inches of snow per year, most of it coming from lake effect snow, which is a thing that people in Southern Indiana are lucky to know nothing about. We also have some of the most brutal wind chills in the country, in my opinion. Where I’m from, winter is the seasonal equivalent of Donald Trump: annoying, destructive, and sticks around long after people think it’s fun anymore. If you don’t slide off the road at least once during a Northern Indiana winter, you are doing it all wrong.
Southern Indiana, in contrast, is a northerner’s paradise. The average yearly snowfall in Bloomington is 16 inches. 16. Inches. 16 inches of snow can be considered “kind of a rough weekend” during the winter in Northern Indiana. In addition, the average temperature in Bloomington during January is 37 degrees. No wonder it doesn’t snow, it’s not cold enough to do so. What a rough time, indeed. If Northern Indiana winter is Donald Trump, Southern Indiana winter is Kim Kardashian: does little to nothing, but still gets talked about for extended periods of time. If you slide off the road during the winter more than once every 10 years in Bloomington, someone will probably tell you that you shouldn’t be allowed to drive anymore.
Of course, no snow is the best snow. Turning down a job offer in Florida for next year is no doubt the stupidest thing I have done in my life so far. However, it is hard for me to be upset living in Bloomington for most of the winter. The kind of snow that happens here is the kind of snow that people want to see on Christmas: light, fluffy and actually kind of pretty. Winter does not give you a figurative punch in the stomach like it does where I am from, it softly caresses your cheek like the hot leading man in every romantic comedy.
So, the next time someone south of Indy decides to complain about what a terrible winter they have experienced so far, show them this picture:
This is a school bus from my hometown after it slid off the road during a particularly nasty morning. If you think this looks dangerous, don’t worry. This was a rare instance of the school actually being in session when it snowed. The year after I graduated high school, they had at least 10 snow days. Yes, winter in Northern Indiana truly is a blast.
