We hear about the freshmen 15 and gaining weight in college all the time, but what is it like to lose weight in college and why do so many people comment on that than gaining weight? Weight and body image is a sensitive topic, especially when it comes to college-aged girls, and not just the ones who have put on a few pounds.
College is a time where you can go long periods of time without seeing people, like your family, best friends, and people you went to high school with, especially if you're at school far from home. Why is it so common to see everyone talk behind the back of the girl who gained some weight her freshman year, but so blatantly point out to someone's face their weight loss? Why is it appropriate to be asked, "Have you lost weight?" by everyone you know, but no one would dare to ask, "Have you gained weight?"
Maybe you don't think asking someone if they've lost weight is rude, but again, you might not know their circumstances. They may be happy that you noticed if they've been working hard to lose weight, or they may be embarrassed to have people commenting on their body. When you've been asked up to 15 times in one day if you've lost weight, it's not so flattering. It makes you feel like that's the only good thing about you when it's the only thing people notice.
And why do you need to ask someone what they did to lose weight? Everyone is different and chances are whatever they did won't work the same way for you. Also, not all weight loss is intentional. You can lose weight from dieting, stress, anxiety, exercise, and so many other things. Maybe someone doesn't want to talk about what caused their weight loss, and you should respect that. If you do ask how someone lost weight, there's a polite way to do it, and putting them on the spot in front of a group of people and saying "are you starving yourself?" is not the way.
When thinking of talking about someone's weight loss, think about it the other way around. Would you tell someone they need to stop eating? Probably not, so you shouldn't tell someone they need to eat more. I eat ramen noodles and cheese fries for almost every meal, we probably don't need to talk about my eating habits. Would you ask someone why they wear clothes that are too tight? Don't ask why I like my clothes too big for me. My whole life I've been told by society what I can and can't wear because of my body type, and I wear what I'm comfortable wearing -- not what's going to show off my body shape the best.
When you comment on someone's weight, you don't know what's going through their head. You don't know what makes them feel good about themselves, you don't know what goes through their head every time they step on a scale or even look in the mirror. You don't know if they're happy with their weight, regardless of if you think they look good or not.
Don't ask someone how much weight they've lost, what size they wear, ask for a rundown of what they've eaten that day, and you sure as hell shouldn't tell someone they look like a holocaust victim compared to their old size. There are a lot of great ways to tell someone they look good, and "have you lost weight?" is definitely not the best.
I'm trying to be accepting of myself and confident with my body. As someone who has always been self conscious about my body, weight loss is something that has helped my self confidence and while sometimes your comments are nice and positive, sometimes they can come off as negative. Don't say anything to someone that you wouldn't want someone to say to you.
