It’s bullshit if someone tries to tell you how to grieve. Period. I have seen enough of my best friends try to silence their hurt because of someone telling them to “move on”, “try to get over it”, or “just try to have more fun”. There’s probably something in common with all those people. They have probably never had their heart ripped out by someone they loved.
Sometimes crawling into a ball, under the covers, is the only thing you can do. Sometimes you need to shower just so you can cry. Cry until you can only taste the salt water running down your lips. Sometimes “talking about your feelings” is the last thing you want to do. That’s okay. Don’t ever feel ashamed for anything you need to do in order to get through your worst days.
But, at the end of the day you need to give yourself these truths. It’ll be easy to want to feel nothing. It’ll be easy to blame yourself for being weak. The strongest thing you can do is admit the truth about your heartbreak. Admit that today, you are hurting.
1. Let yourself realize you are grieving.
There are a million emotions running through you. You’re allowed to feel every single one.
2. Crying is cleansing.
Tears do not make you weak. Being scared to admit you’re hurting does.
3. Sometimes you won’t have closure. That’s okay.
Don’t fall victim to thinking you need closure. It won’t help you move on, that’s your job.
4. Alcohol does not numb the pain, nothing does. That’s okay.
You don’t deserve to be hurt by substances anymore than you deserved the hurt from this heartbreak. Be a friend to yourself.
5. Admitting your hurt is better than clinging to your pride.
Don’t drown yourself in silent suffering just because you hate to admit you’re in pain. Your pride
will make for a silent killer.
6. Using sex as an escape will leave you emptier than ever.
Just because one person didn't have respect for you, doesn't mean you don’t have to.
7. Stop checking their social media. Just stop.
It doesn’t help. It won’t change anything. It only hurts you.
8. If you want to sleep, sleep.
No, this does not mean you are “moping”, “depressed”, or “being unproductive”. Having your heart broke is exhausting. You need to rest.
9. It’s not a cliche to start thriving in school.
You are the only one who get’s to decide how this experience takes you. Personal accomplishment will heal you. Fact.
10. The gym is your new best friend. (the “post-breakup” body can be so real).
Feel good about yourself. Love yourself. Take care of yourself.
11. Find yourself.
Remember the little things that make you happy. Surround yourself with them.
12. Embrace that you and everything around you is changing.
Realizing that things won’t be the same can be the greatest revelation you will have.
13. You’ve overcome 100% of your worst days. You’ll get through this.You are made of everything you’ve gotten through so far. Darling, don’t underestimate yourself.