A hopeless romantic like me is in grave danger scrolling through Tumblr. Every blog you look at there is some sappy, romantic story that was cute at the beginning, but ultimately ends in a beautiful heartbreak. Blah, Blah, Blah. But, ever since I started being interested in having a romantic relationship, I easily slipped into the routine of that stereotypical Tumblr post. You meet by chance and you instantly know that they're the one. You go on dates and talk 24/7 and they get you flowers. Then, something changes and it all goes tumbling (Excuse the pun) downhill. Right? That's how the majority of the stories go. So, that's got to be the way life is.
No.
Relationships are hard work. They are double texts...or maybe quadruple texts...trying to get them to answer in time to make these important plans. They are asking them to come over and them saying, "No, I have homework," or even "Nah I don't feel like getting up." They are wanting to choke them because they're being so undeniably frustrating. They are wishing you could think better on your feet because they just roasted you so badly and you can't think of a comeback. Relationships are rarely cute and fun.
That's what the truth of the matter is.
I've been dating my boyfriend for a whooping little over two months. That's a long time, I know. But, in all seriousness, he's taught me so much in that little bit of time. He's different than anyone else I've dated and that's a good...but also a little frustrating.He doesn't check his phone often...somedays not at all. He doesn't say anything sappy. He doesn't play along with me pouting. He doesn't fit into my "type".
And that's good for me.
He's teaching me that I cannot, under any circumstances, depend on my significant other. He's teaching me that, no, I don't require a text back in .5 seconds. He's teaching me that it's rarely ever going to be sweet words whispered in my ear, but more likely a gigantic flame of "Got 'em" blasting through my skull.
But, most of all, he's teaching me that a relationship should be more about enjoying your time together versus the showing off.
I think that a big issue with relationships today is the influence of social media. Girlfriends tend to want their boyfriends to make them their #WCW every..single..Wednesday. (Listen, it's not cute, it's annoying but whatever, it's your life.) And, there are even some boys out there that throw a fit when they aren't made #MCM. My boyfriend doesn't have any social media except Snapchat, and even then he doesn't post on his story. The only problem I find in this is that I can't tag him in memes I think he'd enjoy. If you feel the need to be validated as their boy/girlfriend on the internet, or anywhere for that matter, that's not a healthy relationship. That's a relationship that you're in for it just to show off and be shown off. Now, there's nothing wrong with posting your significant other every now and then (I'm guilty of it but I'm not sure he knows about all of them.), but, when it makes your other half upset that you didn't post them, there's something that needs to be talked about there.
My boyfriend is the exact opposite of a romantic.
He doesn't want to go see the lights on Riverside and he doesn't even PRETEND that he'd enjoy that at all. He doesn't send cute good mornings. He doesn't come over every time I ask him if he wants to. But, he doesn't lie about why he doesn't want to do those things. That's just not who he is as a person, and that's 100% okay. I'd rather him tell me that things like that don't interest him instead of me dragging him along and him complaining the whole time, or even after. He doesn't say sappy things that would make the cynic in me throw up. Our conversations are rarely deep and "meaningful", yet they mean the world to me. Being able to talk to someone and not feel pressured to conform to society's standards as a couple is one of the most relaxing things...even if I am trying my hardest to think of a comeback only to have that be a gigantic flop.
Some people would look at our relationship and not even know we're together. Some might look at it and think that it's all wrong. But, that doesn't matter. In the long run, it's going to be right.As cool as it'd be for this thing with him to work out, I can't bank on it. I wouldn't even bet on it. We're still young and there are so many different things that could show us it isn't supposed to "be". If it ends, cest la vie. We'll both come out of it stronger and wiser. If it lasts, hey, that's pretty cool and we'd still end up stronger and wiser. He's helped me grow into a better me, and I don't think he knows how great that is.
There's so much more I could say, but, I honestly can't find words that fit together and make sense. And, maybe that's a perfect metaphor for how relationships should really be. They don't really fit together but you work with it until they make enough sense to form a slightly coherent thought. Kind of.
