As the days of my first year at college wind down, I’ve been doing a lot of reflecting. I think back to the first few weeks of school and how everything was new and exciting. Now, I’m pretty exhausted.

1. A lot happens in your first year.

A lot changes too, whether you want it to or not. You just kind of have to accept it after a while.

I like looking back at my first semester and thinking about what I learned from my roommates. They helped me realize the kind of person I’d prefer not to be. While I spent so much time being angry, I’ve come to realize it’s so much better to just move on. I already wasted so much energy on people who would not be in my future, and I needed to get past what I was feeling and learn from it.

2. If I hadn’t moved out, I wouldn’t have met my current roommate.

Though she doesn’t really know, she helped me push forward even though all I kept doing was look back. She helped me form a new kind of confidence that made me into a stronger person. I can’t wait to see what next school year brings us.

3. During my first year, I experienced a new kind of loneliness.

It was one of the hardest feelings to deal with. Being in another city, even another state means you’re so separated from the world you’ve gotten so used to. Sure, you might know some people at your school or at one nearby, but they won’t always be there for you, even when you need them the most.

4. Life has really changed for me.

Everything in my life is so much different than it was at the beginning of school. I’m not coming home to the same place as I would a year ago. I’m not as close with people I thought I’d be, but have grown so close to people I never expected to. I have felt absolutely torn down by someone I thought would always be there to pick me up. I’ve felt loneliness I’d rather not feel again.

5. But I am refreshed.

I am more of the person I’ve been wanting to be. Although it took a lot of pain and tears to get here, I managed. Thankfully I have the summer to help me regain some energy for the next school year (because I definitely have just about none left— thank you finals). I know next year will probably be even harder than this one, but now I know what to expect. I know how to handle certain situations and that everything works itself out in the end.