I think so often we as humans are so consumed with this idea of being "normal" we are concerned with being like everyone else. This causes us to think all of our fears are abnormal that everything we go through just might mean we are crazy or are less than others. That is why I wanted to take a few minutes to let everyone know that there are fears that are extremely common. Having these fears or other fears for that matter does not make you less than another human. It does not make you a screwup.

1. Fear of Not Being Good Enough

I strongly believe that everyone has this insecurity to some degree. We all have some form of self-doubt. This can manifest in many different ways. Some of the ways it manifests are; pushing others down, perfectionism, being suicidal, and many other things. Some of the things I have been through are truly no secret, I am willing to share with anyone what I have gone through and how God works through everything.

This fear is honestly one of the ones that has such a multifaceted impact on my life. I never wish to be seen as a victim but I want to share a small portion of my story in hopes that it can encourage at least one other human to understand that they are never alone. It is no secret that I have been through every type of abuse and forms of neglect. That abuse and neglect was from countless people and one of the biggest culprits was myself. People see me in so many different ways to every side of the spectrum. Some see literally call me a queen and have started a canonization process for me because of their love and understanding that all I want to do is Glorify God. In addition, some believe and tell others I am a whore, liar, and every other name in the book. Yet, none of them would ever see it coming that I was the hardest critic of myself that literally every day I would pray that I was not alive. I didn't believe I was worth the opportunities I had, the love people offered, the food in front of me. I didn't even believe I was worth the abuse I went through at the hands of myself and others. If anyone is going through this or has, I promise you I only share this because I want you to know that you are not alone. This fear of not being worthy or good enough is COMMON and the people who are honest with themselves will tell you that at some point they have felt the same.

One of the most important things about facing your fears is learning to cope with them and turn them into something beautiful. There are so many ways of doing this. One of the ones I found most helpful was finally listening to others on the good things... when I would go through a bad day I would ask one of my best friends one good thing about me. The promise I made myself was that those compliments were ones I wouldn't fight. I would simply say thank you...

2. Fear that No One Could Love You

I asked someone I loved once what they were afraid of, they finally told me what I knew all along, they simply said " I am scared that you will peel back my layers and realize that you can't love me." They were scared that I would "figure" out that they weren't enough, that knowing every facet of their heart would make me love them less.

One of the things that can help with this fear is realizing that others fear the same thing too, and the more you show them you love them the more their heart can grow and be strong to love you back. Look to the people who have never left, give them the benefit of the doubt. When they say they love you... if they show it in how they act, what they say, and in every other way... they love you.

Believe me, I struggle with this very much so. There are so few people I have allowed to truly love me. I can't think of one person I have been able to fully give this benefit of the doubt to- to believe they actually love me... You are not alone.

3. Fear that Your Life will Not matter

I promise you that you are not the only one who struggles with this exact same fear every once in awhile. In all honesty I have this fear many times. I spend my whole day and my whole life fighting to see a shred of evidence that if I wasn't here that it would matter. That I matter. I pray every day that I can do something for someone else, that I can do something for the kingdom of God. I wish I could give another person advice on how to feel they matter. I spend much of my life just trying to do as little harm as possible. I often try to keep from being too important in the lives of others, yet, that is all I want. I am literally a walking contradiction. The advice I can offer is just this, at least for now, you are not alone.

4. Fear that You have No Idea what you are doing

I am a sophomore college student, it is almost by definition that I have no idea what I am doing with my life… This problem comes from many things… many people just don’t know what they are passionate about. For me, it is that I am passionate about too many people. Yet, this common fear is just that; common. It is not exclusive to collegiate students, I know people in all classes and stages of life that have no idea what they are doing. They don’t know if they are where they are meant to be. This is a common source of the very usual mid-life crisis that is most definitely not exclusive to the middle of life.

One of the most effective things I have encountered to assist with this fear is asking advice. I ask advice of those who are wiser than I am, those less wise than I, and those in the same position as I. I listen to everyone and weigh all of their advice as I keep learning. Yet, I don’t think that fear will ever fully go away.

The reasons I am sharing these common fears are very numerous. The main reason is because I hope that sharing some of the things I fear will allow at least one person to overcome. At least one person to embrace their fears and realize that fears such as these absolutely does not make them worse than anyone else. I pray that my opening some old wounds can help at least one person