I have been doing a lot of reflection lately on relationships and what makes them functional and strong. I have always been a very independent person and I have struggled with trusting people or allowing myself to rely on them. That isn't to say I don't care about people very deeply because I do, but I maintain the mentality that you can't always trust people to care back. I have recently learned the importance of allowing yourself to rely on people. It can be so rewarding to know that you have relationships, romantic or platonic, that will remain constant and strong if nurtured.

I have always seen things in absolutes, like if I wasn't a good enough friend or partner then it wouldn't be possible for anyone to handle me. The other night at dinner I was listening to my friend's dad drop some wisdom about relationships. He told us things are rarely black and white. He said it's unusual that one person is the bad guy. Relationships take hard work on both sides and that's why it is so rewarding when they actually flourish. I think it is important to know that everything can be exactly right, both the timing and the person, and you will still have to work at the relationship. You have to give your time and love and allow yourself to be vulnerable. You also have to trust them, trust that they won't let you down. Relationships are a commitment to work for that person. I've learned it's okay to mess up as long as you make every effort to fix things and show people that you care. This also means forgiving when others mess up, which can be a hard lesson in itself. This isn't to say you should allow someone to continually hurt you, but you do have to allow for mistakes and remember neither of you are perfect.

It's been said a million times but communication is key. As long as there is an open line of dialogue between you and your friend or significant other there aren't many problems that will be too big to tackle. You have to enter with a mindset of compassion and remember that no matter what you love this person. Never say anything intentionally hurtful, but do speak your mind. Fights will happen, feelings will get hurt but I've been learning that isn't the end of the world and most likely things can be fixed if you both take a deep breath and commit to resolving things. It's okay to let people know something hurt you, that doesn't make you impossible. Keep in mind they are allowed to feel hurt too and you have to realize that everything they feel is just as valid. Respect each other's truths.

Relationships are really complicated and tricky. Of course, there is no formula to navigating them but keeping some of these things in mind will put you on track to build healthy and trusting relationships.