All my life I've wondered if I was the bad friend. I wondered if I was just not good enough for people. It's a battle when people walk into your life one minutes and are gone the next. Just remember that it's okay.
People are made to come in and out of your life. You can't control anything. You have to just stick it out and wait for the next one to come along. Someone will come, and you will treat them will the same love you did the first friend. When they leave, you wonder if it was your fault. "What am I doing wrong?"
The answer is nothing.
You are being the person that you are. If they can't stay, don't make them. Find the friends that work with the person you are. Don't ever change who you are for someone, no matter how important you think they are. If you are honest with yourself, you can be honest with others.
I found out the hard way that you can't change yourself to be someone's friend. I've been friends with them all: the popular ones, the shy ones, the ones who know what they want in life and the ones that don't. You can't be the same person with all of them. You start to change the person you are to fit in with them. Change is good, but not when it's forced. You will never be able to find yourself. You will always be living in the shadow of someone else.
As we grow, we try to find who we want to be. You will go through so many friends to find who you are. Those losses will not hurt as bad as the one friend you choose to be your best friend. We all know what it is like to have a best friend. You do everything together. You go to local big towns, travel on vacations together, go on late night drives with the windows down and go to their houses just to take a nap. The friendship you have feels as though it will last forever. Some things don't last forever. That best friend turns into a friend, and they friend turns into a stranger. Two years down the road and you don't even recognize the person they are.
You are going to hurt. You are going to miss her. You are going to want her back.
The biggest thing you have to learn is to let them go. You have to delete their number, delete all of their social media and get rid of everything you have from them. Either throw it out or burn it. Do not go though the trouble of trying to return it all. If they leave, you let them leave. Nothing is worth going through the pain of another interaction. You no longer have to keep up with their lives. I am not saying to try and erase all the memories of that person. They helped shape the person you are today in some way even if it doesn't seem like it. You just have to take away every possibility of everything resurfacing because you find their shirt they left in your closet. It is better to remember them memories on your own than by an object.
When you remember this friend, try to think of the good. The best way to get over the situation is to have positive feelings towards them. Making peace with yourself will keep you from effecting your life forever.
When you let her go, you can open your heart for another friend. You have to find a friend that loves you for you. You have to find a friend that you don't need to change for. When you find someone that you match with, you'll know it. You won't have to work too hard for it. There will be fights, and there will be tears. You won't talk every day, and you won't see each other every day. Sometimes space is the best thing for friends. You have to have a life that doesn't revolve around your friend. You can't be dependent on this one friend. You be you, and they will be them. In the end, you will find a friend, or two, that will be there forever.
