The Test Of Friendship

The Test Of Friendship

Thanks for being my 1/100,000.
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"Friendship is so weird. You just pick a human you've met and you're like, 'Yep, I like this one,' and you just do stuff with them." - Bill Murray

Over the course of a lifetime, we have the privilege to meet a variety of different people, who may, or may not happen to be similar or alike to us in any way at all. According to an infographic from Funders & Founders, it's estimated that we interact with about 80,000 people over course of our lifetime, which of course, varies. This looks like an extremely high number, I agree. 80,000 people comes more from the idea that we make eye contact with strangers as we grab bread off the shelf at the grocery store, or as we take Exit 28B to La Jolla Village Dr., next to a family with a license plate from New Mexico. So, divide that by the total population of the world (2016), which Live Population regularly updates, is 7,432,663,275, and the equation reveals that we meet about 1 out of every 100,000 people. Just think: out of these 80,000 people we see, we choose a couple or a few whom become our best friends: our confidants, our rocks, our soul mates, our wing(wo)men for the rest of our lives.

Unfortunately, as time goes on, ties break, and people exit our lives through the same door they entered. As we grow up, we make new friends and lose old ones. Our first best friends that we made as our parents left us crying, sitting on the alphabet carpet on the first day of kindergarten, the ones we ran off to chase the boys with during recess, are no longer the little girls in the flowery dress with pigtails on the top of their heads. In fact, most likely, if you or I were to see our first best friend, (unless you stayed good friends throughout school), we might not even recognize each other, as we began to go our separate ways and mature at different times when we disagreed on who would play the doctor or mom during free time.

The friendships that are held together throughout the bossy years of playing house, the awkward brace-face years, and ugly years of useless, teenage drama, are the ones that are truly worth something. True friendships can't be broken due to the lack of seeing one another when times get busy and life starts to create a series of obstacles. For, if someone honestly cares about you, they will make time for you, no matter what.

The true test of friendship is a silent one. It's a test that sits there, and waits to be called upon. The test of friendship is evident during many experiences, such as the transferring of schools, no matter which grade, the process of moving, whether it's to another nearby town or faraway state, excruciating heartbreak, and the silence that sits, as you two have run out of something to say. It's the comfortableness of another human being that shares similar values and experiences as you.

An important thing to note is that true friendship does not leave. There is no expiration date. Yes, the relationship might dim and fade, but unless you end it, there is no telling what might happen. Friendship is as timeless as we allow it to be. As we continue to grow, it is also important to note the type of toxic friendship that becomes unnecessary to hold on to. One does not need anyone who puts a damper on their life. Remember that it is okay to move on with your life, and possibly never get closure or an apology for the bad blood that is left sitting between you and another person. Sometimes you have to be okay with the other person not being able to talk things out like adults, and be able to simply accept the bitter apology that you will never receive. People are like seasons; they change. It is important to remember that if someone does not put in effort to stay in your life, then they do not deserve you in their life. If you pay close enough attention, life teaches us to recognize the difference between people who want to be in our lives for the moment versus the ones who actually want to stay in our lives for a lifetime. Because, if they truly cared as much as they say, they would have acted differently.

All one needs is the support and love from those who care about him or her. Friendship should not be a burden, but rather there should be a balance between the two people. Friendship does not ask for someone to tell the other person how they should feel or what they should do differently, unless advice is asked for. Friendship simply asks for a listening ear to understand, a strong stomach to laugh at bad jokes for hours, a shoulder to cry on, and a hand to hold, when necessary.

True friendship is knowing that whether you have good news or bad, you can always depend on the other to support you, throughout both the happy and sad times. It's knowing that both can depend on one another to be honest and nonjudgmental towards each other's choices. It's trusting that this person will care for you whether you're on the bathroom floor bawling your eyes out, or on cloud nine. It's the feeling of knowing that you are able to show up in the driveway of a friend's house at 2:00 a.m., knock on the window because you're crying over a stupid, insensitive boy that broke your heart, and know that they would be right there listening to you, and maybe even holding you, because they know that even sniffling that interrupts the silence between you two is comforting. Knowing that you don't have to go through the bad times alone means everything.

As I've grown older and have moved away from home, I've realized that friendship is not seeing the same people every day. Friendship is making the effort to see each other when you can, even if it's grabbing a coffee during a 15 minute lunch break. It's texting or calling someone just to have a conversation to see how their day went, simply because you care. Friendship is telling someone that you're hungry at 1:00 a.m. and telling them that you'll be at their house in 10 minutes to drive to In & Out to get a Double Double and fries. The best part about having friends is that in the moment, the two of you aren't thinking about how you two are friends. Both are simply enjoying the time they are spending with each other; and that's something beautiful. If the friendship becomes long distance and you two don't see each other as often as you would like, you know the friendship is real when you can pick up right where you left off. All of the inside jokes, favorite things to do, and songs blasting with the windows down are the same. The best part is seeing the same person or thing and having the same reaction or just making eye contact with one another and knowing exactly what the other is thinking. That's the beautiful part about a real friendship; the tie is never severed. The truth is, friendship has no boundaries, just new experiences.

I am very thankful for the true friends that I have that have supported me through both the good and bad parts of my life. I'm sorry if I do not remind you enough, but from me to you, I very much appreciate our friendship.

Thank you for being my 1/100,000.

"Friendship ... is not something you learn in school. But if you haven't learned the meaning of friendship, you really haven't learned anything." - Muhammad Ali




Cover Image Credit: Tumblr

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I'm The Girl With The 'Cool Mom'

"I'm a cool mom, not a regular mom!" - my Mom
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"I would like a cheeseburger, with a side of cheeseburger, and see if they can make me a cheeseburger smoothie." - Lorelai Gilmore (a notoriously cool mom)

A cool mom really just isn't a regular mom and if you have one you'll feel me on this.

A cool mom really is just like having a real life Kris Jenner, shes a mom but also an awesome bestie at the same time! (If you aren't into the Kardashians it's basically like an episode of Gillmore Girls.)

Growing up with a cool mom means all of your friends love your mom almost as much or even more then they love you. You get used to it.

My cool mom is the perfect balance of what every other mom does and says, but she's also the greatest friend I could ever ask for.

SEE ALSO: Dear Mom, Have I Ever Told You?

You can tell her everything and receive the best advice, the type of advice a friend your age just can't give.

Get yourself a mom who will whip and nae nae in the car with you.

A cool mom is someone who digs our generation's music and even sings and dances with you whenever you are together.

Oh, and my cool mom, yeah I'm definitely never embarrassed to be out in public with her, she's just that cool.

Having a cool mom who just so happens to also be beautiful just makes her even cooler.

We share makeup and clothes and shop just like friends do, but no one will give you a more honest opinion than a cool mom does.

If you have a cool mom you know all your friends are on a first name basis, 'Mrs. so and so' just doest fly around a cool mom.

Cool moms make the best DD's.

SEE ALSO: 10 Times We Have All Had To Call Our Moms In College

A cool mom will always be there for you no matter what time the party ends, she'll always be there to pick your drunk self up, even if its 3am.

She'll ask you things like "so how were the boy's anyone cute?"

Don't even get her started on girl drama.

Once someone crosses you and you've told your mom about it that person will forever be on a cool moms sh*t list.

If you get really lucky your cool mom might even go out with you and your friends. Not only will she be the 'MILF' in the room but she will be the best wing woman around.

There is truly nothing better than having a cool mom, because she just gets it.


P.S. Hey Mom I know you're reading this so thanks for being cool.

Cover Image Credit: Natalie Elizabeth

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I've Been Skeptical About The Holidays For A Couple Years, But I'm Ready For Them This Year

Finally decided to stop calling the Grinch my animal spirit.

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The holidays have finally reached us, and I think I speak for many of us when I say that we are excited to be able to breathe from school and spend time with our loved ones -- and to eat food, tons of it.

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But for some others, the holidays are a time that reminisces bad moment in their lives. They become a time of sadness and dark pasts. Loved ones have different faces, and homes, where good wishes are shared, have different walls painted a different color.

About four years ago, I left my country and moved to the US -- new traditions and adventures. The holidays weren't easy for my first year. I achingly missed my parents and family from Honduras. The holidays here didn't seem as exciting without all the people I had spent them countless times before.

In Honduras, on Christmas Eve we would always go visit my grandmother from my dad's side for lunch. In the afternoon, I would have dinner with my parents and brother, and then we'd go to church. After that, we would always go to my mom's family to receive midnight and have a sort of party. That was something that I always looked forward to.

The holidays here weren't as adventurous as they were over there. I would stay all day home and wait till food was served and just spend it with my family until we all decided it was time to go to sleep. They seemed pretty dull for the first two years. But now, my boring, asocial ass is fascinated with the simpleness of the holidays.

Sure, here people take the holidays more seriously than we did in Honduras, but I never assimilated. I began seeing the holidays as another day, except that deliciously exquisite food was going to be served that day. It was not like my mom's food nor like my grandmother's. Everything was different, and this difference weighed heavily on me.

Fast-forward to the present day, and I'm still kind of skeptical about the holidays. I don't get the spirit anymore, and till today, it still hasn't hit me. The only thing that I can think of is that the year is soon going to be over.

The one thing I am excited for is being able to celebrate the holidays with the new family I've been slowly building. My partner is accepted and loved by my relatives, and they invited him over to spend Christmas with us. One of my new best friends was also invited. Being able to spend this time with them kinda shines a glimmer on the idea that I have of the holidays.

This new fresh addition to my life have given me many blissful pleasures this 2018, and I know that with them, I'll probably begin to cherish the holidays a little bit more.

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