As commonly complained about as the topic is, you would think the issue of body image and body acceptance would be somewhat resolved. But this problem was rekindled for me— someone who is trying her best every day to love her body for what it is— when I woke up to the sound of my 13 year old sister moaning in the mirror.
A disgruntled sigh was the first thing out of her sleepy lips that morning. “I am so fat,” she mumbled at no one in the bathroom. My sister and I are very close; we had a sleepover as a kind of reunion when I got home from my year away at college. We had spent the night catching up on each other’s lives and she even let me cuddle with her a little, even though usually she avoids my touchiness at all costs. My point in including the details of this night is that I adore my baby sister. She is beautiful, body and soul. Hearing her demean herself before her sleepy eyes could even open wide made my stomach hurt.
But here’s the sad truth about the whole body-shaming incident— my sister does not have body image issues. She is not diagnosed with any kind of actual disorder, she doesn’t have depression or anxiety or something awful like anorexia or bulimia (thank God). The fact of the matter is that my little sister, like so many others, has been influenced from a very young age by our media, our entertainment, our society’s standards. She knows what the world deems pretty and sadly, she doesn’t always consider herself among that narrow definition.
Let me make my story clear— my sister is something special. She has big blue eyes and crazy golden curls and a personality that is uniquely her own. She is not afraid to express herself artistically or speak up for the things she believes in. Also, she’s not fat— whatever “fat” actually is. The flaws that only she could see in the mirror overshadowed all of the good parts of her. All she could see were the imperfections.
But that’s what makes us all so cool, isn’t it? We were not designed to be perfect, plastic cutouts of what society begs for. We were not made to all fit into the same dress or cut our hair the same way. I constantly tell my sister to wear the things she wants, put on makeup or wear absolutely none, make her hair as fluffy or as flat as she wishes, because when she makes her own decisions, she is staying true to herself. She is not conforming to the outline society draws for us or the opinions of others. I remind her that this doesn’t only apply to her outward appearance but to the person she wishes to be within. I hope and pray that the world will never determine the choices she makes; I pray that she can always protect her heart.
This prayer goes to young people everywhere— girls and guys who have grown up in a world saturated with harsh expectations. Our bodies were not created to look identical, so there’s no reason to shame ourselves when we recognize our differences. I will never stop preaching this message because life is so much more fulfilling when we forget its conformities. Wear what you want, express yourself, and don’t worry about the thoughts of those who can’t see your worth. Just because it's not the good of this world doesn't mean it's not good.
