"You guys can go outside until she has calmed down." These were the words that showed me how, in a society that demands inclusion and acceptance for almost all things, the group of people who deserve acceptance the most are the ones who society actively secludes. This request wasn't given with the quiet politeness that the words seem to indicate. This request was given through gritted teeth and forced composure. It became evident by the woman's cold demeanor and apparent distaste on her face that this wasn't a request at all. This was a demand.
The little girl I was trying to console is named Emma and she is developmentally disabled, nonverbal and diagnosed with autism. When we first walked into the library that the rude woman was employed at, Emma saw a display full of colorful books she wanted to read. Those books were only available as prizes for the summer reading program, not for regular use. Any able-minded child could be told fairly quickly that those books aren't for reading, that they could find the reading books in the back. That if they just waited a few moments, they would soon be on a couch in literary bliss. They could understand and communicate back what they were still unsure about.
Not Emma. Not only is Emma unable to communicate what she's screaming in her head, she has a processing delay that limits her ability to comprehend spoken words immediately like the rest of us. Emma's brain needs to see a picture or else hear a spoken phrase several times before it's able to process a meaning (something messes up between five and six in the picture).
Emma's brain needs time. Time that she wasn't allowed because the moment she started communicating her confusion and frustration in the only way she knew how -- odd noises deep within her throat -- an employee from the library suggested in her forced-professional tone that we leave, only allowed to return when she calms down. What she didn't understand -- or allow me the chance to explain -- is that there is no calming down and returning later. The exact same scenario would happen in the exact same way many times before Emma would make the connection that the books up front are not for her.
This situation where people don't understand and get freaked out by Emma's differences happens all too often in her life. I can feel the stares we receive everywhere we go, hear the whispers from children and adults alike and feel the environment change when no one knows what to do or say. Emma can feel all those things, too.
It's hard to stay mad for too long when these things occur because it's frankly nobody's fault. The developmentally disabled population is so secluded and hidden that people don't know how to act when they finally meet someone who is so vastly unlike them. When people don't know how to act, they tend to appear standoffish or rude. This leads to the developmentally disabled person to feel uncomfortable going out, choosing to stay home when possible. This lessens the exposure the general public has to developmentally disabled people, which in turn ensures that people never learn what to think or how to act around them, creating a vicious cycle with no indications of being broken.
Emma is not the only child who falls victim to society's judgment. Every day, boys, girls, children and adults alike feel not welcomed and unwanted. We need to be the ones to break this cycle. We need to educate ourselves. Volunteer at a school with Special Needs classes, contact your local Regional Office and find programs to assist in or help with an Early Intervention Program. We've joined together before to fight the obvious social injustices within our country. Let's stop ignoring the hidden social injustices throughout our communities.
