Social anxiety disorder (SAD) is no joke, with millions of people around the world suffering from it every day. As someone who is challenged with the daily adventures/struggles of SAD, I can’t help but notice how society is twisting the definition of the condition, essentially romanticizing its characteristics. As the disorder becomes increasingly prevalent among teens, it becomes exponentially blatant that people aren’t correctly educated about what it is and how it affects people.

According to Merriam-Webster’s Medical Dictionary, social anxiety is defined as “an anxiety disorder that is characterized by persistent and exaggerated fear of social situations.” Symptoms include “a persistent fear of being scrutinized and humiliated in public, excessive worrying, profuse sweating, trembling and stomach discomfort.”

Now that we have a better understanding of what social anxiety is and what it does, here are 11 corrected misconceptions of social anxiety, the third most common mental disorder in the United States.

1. We’re not the same as introverts.

Since social anxiety has been becoming more and more commonplace in our culture, people frivolously use the term “social anxiety” interchangeably with being shy or reserved. What’s the difference, you ask? Being shy is not a disorder. According to Merriam-Webster dictionary, the medical definition of an introvert is “one whose attention and interests are directed toward one's own thoughts and feeling.” Yes, victims of social anxiety do usually end up more frequently by themselves than with others, but not necessarily because they like it like that.

2. Tumblr users, SAD isn’t funny or cute. It’s literally sad.

Tumblr is an online blogging platform chock full of people who struggle with anxiety and depression. However, because having anxiety and depression is such a norm online, people have come to pretend to have it to fit in or to feel like a part of a group. Trust me, social anxiety disorder is nothing to be jealous of.

3. Just because you’re awkward doesn’t mean that you have social anxiety.

Okay, so being awkward is pretty much a side effect of the whole living and breathing thing. Everyone is a tiny bit awkward, and just because you may be bad at keeping conversation sometimes doesn’t mean that you have an intense dread of social involvement.

4. Social anxiety is a fear.

Many people just identify social anxiety disorder as a condition, but it is actually an intense fear. While social situations may be feared in general, sufferers of SAD are often frightened of constant negative judgement from whoever they’re talking to, leading to the perpetual state of worry classified as the signature of all anxiety disorders.

5. Believe it or not, we don’t like avoiding people.

Just because people with social anxiety usually do avoid situations, it doesn’t mean that they are content with staying closed off to themselves and the few friends they have come to make. In fact, most people who have social anxiety have huge personalities that are hidden behind the disorder’s tendencies. Don’t understand? Let me take you inside the mind of someone with social anxiety. Imagine social situations as a pair of wet socks. You love having socks, but all of the water makes them really uncomfortable.

6. We try to be outgoing but our “outgoing” is saying “hi” to someone we kind of know.

Socially, you need to be more understanding of SAD patients and expect to take smaller steps with them than you would a normal person. Saying hello to an acquaintance is a big deal. Not only are we stepping outside of our comfort zone when we do this, but we are making ourselves vulnerableputting ourselves out there. Let us know you notice. It helps.

7. “Just let go and have some fun.”

Some people decide to subscribe to the theory that social anxiety is a switch that can be flipped at any given point of time. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been texting someone during an unwanted social event and they have told me to “just talk to someone.” And every time I hear it, I find myself questioning whether or not my friend remembered that I have SAD. Control is sort of a paradox with my social anxiety peeps and I. When we have panic attacks, we lose all control. We hyperventilate, we cry and we repeat negative thoughts to ourselves. We pray for any sort of reprieve to occur so we can stop the suffering. So when we finally gain control again, we are stingy with it. We don’t know how long we’ll have it and giving it up voluntarily seems borderline selfish.

8. It’s more than public speaking.

The confusion between the fear of public speaking and social anxiety are another result of people synonymously exchanging the words between each other. Are SAD patients affected by the fear of public speaking? Of course, fear of rejection combined with all of those eyes looking up at them are enough to give anyone a bout of anxiety. But assuming that SAD people are only affected by public speaking situations is cute, but ignorant.

9. Pretending to understand what we’re going through doesn’t help.

It’s always nice to know that people care for you and support you during hard times in your life. But don’t talk to me about how you “understand what I’m going through.” The only people who truly understand are the ones with the disorder themselves. Don’t get me wrong, support the person you know with SAD. Support them to the ends of the earth. But telling them that you understand their problems with no experience whatsoever makes them feel obsolete.

10. It’s not just in our heads.

Yes, social anxiety is a mental disorder. However, it is a mental disorder that, similarly to depression, has adverse effects on the body. You know those circles under our eyes? The worried look tattooed on our faces and the poor posture meant to keep us invisible to the naked eye? Yeah, it all stems from the anxiety.

11. This is temporary.

SAD sufferers need support. We really, really do. But we also need someone who will push us to get through it. Because social anxiety disorder is not temporary. With the right support net, and maybe the right medicine, this is something that we can all get past. There will be a day where we don’t constantly worry about being judged or about actually being heard. That day is on the horizon. And it’s even closer now that one more of our peers knows, truly knows, what’s going on.