You said you loved me. You said you saw a future with us together. You said that I was your one. Look at us now. Now we don't talk. The only reason I know what you are doing is because of your Snapchat Story.
You don't know what I’m thinking or what I’m doing, mostly because we aren't friends on Snapchat. You don't know if I’m dating or if I miss you. We went from sharing one world to not even being in the same universe. We shared holidays and birthdays to not even sharing one word with each other. I didn't want it. I wouldn't say I was blindsided by it, but I didn't expect our breakup to ever happen. I saw us growing old together. I saw us having a family, having kids and a dog, having Christmases together and being happy together. I saw us graduating together and going to formals and dressing up and looking nice together. I guess you didn't see that.
I’m not saying this is all your fault. I’ll share some of the blame. I do miss you, sometimes. I do wish I knew what you were doing, and not because of your Snapchat Stories. I wish I knew if you were healthy or not. I wish you the best. I want to share my thoughts with you. There are a lot of things I want to do with you that will never happen.
When we broke up, you gave me a hug goodbye. I was baffled, after all, that we have been through, how can you just hug me and walk away? I ask myself why did I let you walk away? Why didn't I fight to make you stay? Why didn't I try a little harder when we were struggling? Or did I try my best and it just wasn't meant to be? Did God have you walk those five steps down my stairs and then ten more to your car? Did God have me slam the door and then make my roommate go get ice cream with me while she listened to me cry and curse your name and try and stay positive? I think God did. I think he was trying to give me a sign. A sign that I’m stronger than I ever thought I was with you. A sign that I’m OK on my own.
But still, you said you loved me... How can you hurt someone that you love? You said we would still be friends and now we just watch each other's Snapchat Stories and hope the other one doesn't notice that we do. I know it is for the best. I know that I am happier looking at your Snapchat Stories than when I was with you. I am reminded that we are better apart when I watch your Snapchat Stories. I no longer miss you. I no longer watch your Snapchat Stories to know what you are doing, but to get them out of my way so I can watch others. That is what you are now to me.
