I have always been a petite girl. Neither one of my parents were particularly big, which meant my size was attributed to the genes handed down through no fault of my own. It seemed that my friends were always commenting about my size and how I compared, or failed to compare, to other girls in my grade. Because I was one of the youngest in my class, I felt that my height would eventually come around, so I tolerated the incessant remarks and jokes others threw my way. The problem was, nobody could know the impact those remarks were having on me.
I found myself trying to prove to others that I should be taken seriously and that my size was not a cause of ridicule. It was an uphill battle internally, as I tried to prove to others that my height should in no way impact someone’s judgement about me. I worked extremely hard to earn the best grades possible and became a leader in my classes. I also discovered along the way, how to stand up for myself.
My parents told me that I would eventually see my size as a blessing, and that several girls would long for a petite frame, like my own, in the coming years. Even though I felt differently, I knew that I had to change my mentality about my self-image because I would have no control in changing the body I was given.
As a self-conscious teenager, this saying was all too true in my life. Shopping became a nightmare. Nothing ever seemed to be the right size. Each article of clothing I tried on fit about as well as Cinderella’s shoe on her step-sisters. Clothing was always too big and hung on my delicate frame. Even though I was growing, it was apparent that clothing designers weren’t designing for me. Nothing in their collections fit a girl who desperately wanted to have a classy and modest style rather than having to rely on Disney in the kids’ section of the local department stores to cover my prepubescent body. My mom stepped in and introduced me to the petite section, and helped to point out certain aspects of different styles that suited my small frame rather than fight with it.
As the years progressed, I slowly started to embrace my size and began the process of molding myself into the person I wanted to become. Despite years of battling connotations that being too small could only get me a cute comment about my size, I realized that I had not only grown literally, but mentally and spiritually as well. The comments that initially wounded me, would heal but they left behind a mark that I would carry with me for the rest of my life. I learned what it meant to be true to myself and to love myself with my new identity as the smallest girl with the biggest heart.
