For years, I have been scratching my skin without knowing the reason why. I have been told it was habit that I need to stop by tons of people. I could never explain that I couldn’t stop, the urge was uncontrollable. No matter my emotions, time of day, where I was, or physical state I would scratch. I started to become frustrated when I began to see scars and was self-conscious of others judging me for them. I have gone through millions of packs of bandages and first aids kits trying to stop it on my own with no success.

Ten years have gone by since I first started scratching, and I have finally been diagnosed with a disorder called Dermatillomania, the excessive scratching of one’s skin. The urge starts from an imperfection on the skin, then it’s almost like a blackout and when I wake up I have opened all the cuts on my body. The sad reality is some doctors believe it is just a habit and not its own condition. I have experienced this first hand and it's baffling that they are doctors that are supposed to help saying to just stop it. However, there are other doctors out there that believe it’s more than just a habit and will treat you for this condition. The treatments can be either pharmaceutical or behavioral therapy. Each case is different which would make each treatment different depending on the person. However, it is a treatable disorder. There will be nights where the urge will win, but that shouldn’t bring you down. For there are weeks where you will smile with glee because you finally see yourself as beautiful.