Being single

I’m Single, But I Don’t Think I’m Ready To Mingle

Many people seem to always be on the constant lookout for their "other half," but not me—the single life isn't what most people want, but it's the one I'm in and I'm happy with it.

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For so long I've thought about what it would be like to be in a relationship, fleeting or something that lasts for a long time. In almost every time that I've thought about it though, as good as it looked, I just couldn't see myself getting into one.

Starting from a young age, I was constantly, albeit discretely, told by my parents and relatives that I should put off getting a boyfriend because school should always come first. At first, I never thought anything of it, knowing that my family jokes around at times and likes to tease us younger people a lot. As I got older, this "suggestion" became a more serious warning, a wish that my mom wanted me to consider. Deep down, I knew that getting into a relationship would devastate her or my family (they happily ask me if I have a boyfriend every time I video chat them).

Unconsciously I did take this suggestion seriously—I kept getting into a relationship at the back of my mind and focus solely on basically on everything else. I became oblivious and would never realize if someone was interested in me (to this day I still doubt this even happens).

I know that I'm not ready for a serious committed relationship. When you're in a relationship, it's sort of making a promise to someone else, a promise that you shouldn't break. There's also a lot of things that you would have to be responsible enough for in a relationship—it's not only a commitment that you make emotionally but also something that would take up time and energy. As someone who has a hard time expressing emotions that are too revealing, as well as being someone who likes to constantly busy herself to forget about the hard things in life, having a relationship seems a little challenging.

Taking into consideration the other party, I've also thought that it wouldn't be fair to them that I can't express my true thoughts all the time or commit as much time as I should, or want, to them. Often, I've heard that a relationship is a two-way street—if he's putting in more effort than I am, it just wouldn't be fair to them.

And this point is not true for a lot of people, thankfully, and just something that may apply to few, but I find it challenging to see me with someone else because I'm not satisfied with who I am at this time. I know it's unrealistic to want myself to be good enough for another person, and hopefully, I do grow out of this mindset become happier with who I am. At this time though, I am still far from it.

For those who are experiencing something similar to me, don't be too sad about it. It's true that relationships help you learn more about yourself and offer you many positives, but that doesn't mean that's the only means to achieving that. I personally am accepting of my single status. There may be some reflecting that I should do or some mindset that I want to grow from, but because of my friends, I don't feel so alone and deprived of the things a relationship can offer.

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7 Signals A Girl Will Try To Send You If She Likes You As More Than A Friend

Girls do subliminal things to show you her interest in you. Pay attention to these low key signs that she is shooting her shot.

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It is never easy when a girl has to fully admit her feelings to a guy she likes, so instead, she sends slight signals in hopes that he picks up on her hints.

1. She can't stop smiling at you

She is happy to talk to you and to be in your presence, the smallest things that you do make her want to smile. She can't control the happiness inside and it comes out in a great big smile. In her head, she is just thinking about how much she enjoys spending time with you and how much she likes you.

2. She hugs you with both arms

Side hugs are common, easy, and very universal. She wants to give you full body hug because to show you she feels different about you than any other guy. With a full body hug she can rest her face on your chest and this just brings the two of you closer.

3. She makes direct eye contact

Direct eye contact is always a great sign. This means she is fully aware of everything you are saying and she is completely interested.

4. She scans your face and lips

Upon talking to you, she begins to scan your face. In this moment she is appreciating your attractiveness and completely zoned out. Forget you said anything to her because she probably was not listening. If she is looking at your lips then she definitely wants a kiss.

5. She says "Oh my god, stahhhp"

The 'I'm mad at you, but I'm flirting with you' slogan. She is trying to be cute and pick a fight with you so you can two can play around. She's hoping this will lead to cracking jokes

6. She adjusts her clothing

She is fidgety when your around because she has feelings for you and is nervous. She wants to look her best with you around, so she is subconsciously fixing herself so that nothing looks bad.

7. She sends you cute snap chats

Silly, crazy, and just straight up ugly snap chats are for friends. If her selfies are , done each time, then she cares a lot about how you see her and she wants you to see her at her best. She is not always looking for a compliment, but throw one her way and you will make her day.

Pay attention to the signs a girl is sending. Her body language and behavior around all come together for an important message, she likes you! A lot.

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Ladies, Stop Trying To Teach Boys How To Be Your Man If They're Not Even Men In The First Place

It is your job to love him. But it is not your job to teach him how to love you back.

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I see. this way too often, honestly it upsets me and breaks my heart. It breaks my heart when I see a girl begging her boyfriend to put her on her Snapchat story. It breaks my heart when I see a girl begging her boyfriend to get off a video game and spend time with her. It breaks my heart when I see a girl doodling on a napkin at the dinner table and her boyfriend is on his phone and hasn't even looked up at her once. These things break my heart because this girl, whoever she may be, maybe it is you? She deserves a man. What she has though, is a boy. And before you say anything, yes, there is a huge difference.

I was that girl once. I begged and begged my ex-boyfriend all the time to put me on his Snapchat story. You may be reading this and be thinking "Wow she's a little attention seeking." No, that is not it at all. A simple act of being posted about made me feel special, loved, missed at times, and served as reassurance and a word of affirmation for me. Do you want to know something silly? Maybe you've done it too. Sometimes I would do something crazy to get his attention. Something funny, and silly and random just so he would post me on his story and I wouldn't have to ask.

At the dinner table, I was that girl that while he was on his phone I was sliding him notes on a napkin saying "I love you" or "Hi" or funny jokes to get his full and undivided attention.

At home, I was the girl that used to literally throw myself at him while he was playing video games to try and get him to press pause for two minutes and pay attention to me and have a conversation with me.

You see, I was that girl. But I refuse to ever be that girl again. If you are that girl, stop what you're doing.

It is your job to love him. But it is not your job to teach him how to love you back.

There is a big difference between a boy and a man. Contrary to what society may believe most boys don't actually turn into men until they are almost 40. Scary for us girls right? But here's the kicker and to be honest it has nothing to do with age.

Any boy that is in the process of becoming a man and maturing is going to know how to treat a woman. He is not going to choose video games or his phone over you. He is going to post you everywhere all the time because he wants to show you off to the world and make you feel special. He isn't going to ever leave you wondering.

The list could really go on comparing and contrasting the differences between a boy and a man but the important ones to remember when you are in a relationship are:

1. A boy thinks "me." A man thinks "us"

2. A boy gives false promises. A man honors his commitments (one being you.)

3. A boy cares about how you look in jeans. A man cares about how you look in his future.

4. You will always wonder how a boy feels about you. You will always know how a man feels about you.

All too often I see girls in the act of this. It is almost like they are training a dog or raising a child. They order them around and become demanding when it comes to doing things that make them feel special, validated and reassured. Granted, they are doing this because their relationship is lacking something but the truth is, it shouldn't be lacking something in the first place.

You are dating a boy not a man. I hate to break that to you. I really do. It's the hardest news you'll ever receive. Why? Well because

You can't fix him, you can't teach him, and you can't change a boy into a man. They have to do it on their own

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