I have never had any animosity towards relationships. I even hope to someday meet the love of my life and get married. Just at this point in my life, it is the least of my concerns. According to my Twitter timeline, it seems as if the entire world is all lovey dovey and I am one of the few lone soldiers. I feel like I am at that age where it is necessary to give myself the maximum amount of attention and affection. I just want to focus solely on myself and the goals I have set. Not saying that I can’t have the best of both worlds, I‘d just rather not.

In recent times, I have been too worried about school and my life plans post graduation to even consider adding another factor to that equation. Having at least a portion of my life figured out is a small requirement before I make any kind of commitment. Being single allows me the time and opportunity to focus on my academic ventures. College is a difficult task already without the extra concerns of a relationship. Taking into account classes, homework, activities, community service and sleep, I would not even feel comfortable forcing a relationship. It would not be fair to me or my significant other. You have to decide what’s important in your life, and do what’s necessary to better yourself.

Your 20s are the time in your life where you are enabled so much freedom and you truly start learning to love yourself. Whether that freedom includes promiscuity or abstinence, you have the power to choose how you live. As a newly turned 20-year-old, I have just started appreciating the person I am. I am both growing and glowing. Right now a guy is at the bottom of my need sheet; I’m too fixated on clearing up my skin and getting my hair healthy. I focus more on how to make myself happy rather than who doesn’t. I try to emphasize the importance of self-love because it honestly gets no realer than that. You understand and can relate to yourself while also admiring the oddest tendencies you possess. The love you have for yourself needs to be at an all-time high before you can truly allow someone else to love you and vice versa. Once you have self-love, you will realize what you truly deserve out of a relationship.

I'm trying to be the literal embodiment of Webbie's "Independent" before I settle down. Of course the way I feel about relationships in your 20s could change on any given day; I’m not denying that. It’s literally different strokes for different folks. I would just much rather be selfish; putting myself first is what I want to do and I have no shame in saying that. As of now, my priorities are centered on my educational and spiritual growth.