I’d like to start this article off with a pop quiz:

1. You just got into a relationship. What is the first thing you do?

a. Tell your best friend

b. Change your relationship status on Facebook/other social media

c. Send out a snap with your boyfriend/girlfriend for everyone to see

2. Is it more heartfelt when you tell your significant other how you feel via:

a. Social media (pictures, tweets, snaps, posts, etc.)

b. Handwritten letters, special dates, gifts, etc.

How you responded to these questions says a lot about not only who you are but how you express your feelings to those you care about. As a society, especially us millennials, we have become addicted to social media. Not only are we addicted, but we find comfort in it, too. We desire and require social media. We thrive on how many likes or retweets we receive from people behind a screen. I’m not saying all of this is horrible — I’m victim to it just as much as everyone else. Contrary to our success in technology and media, one aspect of our lives suffers under the microscope: our relationships. Our romanticism for one another is completely compromised. Nothing is as personal as it used to be.

What happened to writing letters to each other? You don’t have to be in a long distance relationship to receive mail from a special person. When did “watching Netflix” turn into a standard date? An acceptable first date! So many aspects of relationships have been buried over the years: courting your lady, buying dinner, dressing up, flowers and the simple satisfaction of sitting face-to-face and talking. No screens, no updates.

As nice as a picture of the two of you on Instagram with a cute caption is, it can only be so sincere. Those words are pixelated. That picture can easily be lost. A letter, a handwritten letter can last a lifetime. There is something so wonderful about being able to touch the words. To see smudges from where ink hadn’t dried yet. A certain comfort is released from reading words that came from someone else’s heart. Letters are essential to relationships. They last longer than a text, are more treasured than an Instagram post and don’t come in the form of an update. After all, you can’t show a box of posts to your grandchildren, can you?

First dates are important. They are so vital to forming a relationship with someone. Whether that relationship grows into something romantic or stays a friendship, the date brings the mood. The date brings out feelings that two people have in an environment meant specifically to allow emotions to engage.

My idea of a first date is dinner. I’m not talking about pizza rolls from a dinky dorm microwave. I want a nice dinner. Scenery that isn’t from a dorm window. Dressing up! And, yes, that means dress pants and a button-up for the gentlemen and a dress for the ladies. Take your time with this. Pick and choose from seven different outfits until you find the perfect one. Besides, if you’re about to go out with the perfect person, you have to dress at least a teensy bit better than they do.

So here is my advice to those who foresee a relationship in the near future (especially with classes starting soon): When you meet that special someone who gives you butterflies and makes you giddy to see them, plan. Plan for the first date. Plan the dinner, the possible dancing and the flowers. Plan your outfit, then re-plan the outfit. Don’t forget to engage with that person, make eye contact, share something personal and, for goodness' sake, be human! Turn your phone on silent and don’t go scrolling through your social media when you should be social with the person in front of you. Finally, use your media for good. There is nothing wrong with a little media in your relationship, but don’t let it define and take over the relationship. Let yourself and your actions define the relationship. Twitter and Instagram aren’t going to get you an “I love you” from the person you want to hear from most.