Checking my phone to find a flurry of texts asking to reschedule my plans for the day, I was faced with a disappointing thought: I had nothing to do today, and no one was around to do something with. The weather was beautiful; that kind of sunny, warm, slightly breezy day that makes you optimistic about the early arrival of summer, even though nights were still freezing and I still grabbed a jacket whenever I left the house. No one was around, but I didn’t want to waste such a pleasant and perfect day watching Netflix on the couch. I thought that maybe I could take a walk by myself. I don’t particularly enjoy being alone, but I can find things to do if necessary. However, I almost never go places alone. I always feel so odd and self conscious when I’m out and about without a friend. Plus, I think experiences are more fun when there’s someone to share them with. In this case, though, I so wanted to get out and do anything, that I decided it would be worth it. I’ve always heard about the importance of being in tune with one’s self, of being comfortable with being alone, and I wanted to see what it was all about. What better place to do that than out on a lovely day?
I set out to a nearby walking trail. At first, it felt extremely weird to just be walking there by myself. What was I supposed to be doing? I passed other people out enjoying the day: friends biking together, joggers focused on keeping time and pace, people trying to keep their dogs from stopping to sniff every tree. Everyone else seemed to have a purpose to their movements, their activities; and I was annoyed that I couldn’t seem to find mine. I felt awkward and unnatural just casually strolling along without anyone else. I wanted someone to chat with, someone to be my partner on this expedition of self-reflection and mindfulness. However, I was determined to make the most of this walk, to get something out of it.
As time passed, I began to feel more at ease. Nature had a wonderful way of making me feel at peace. The cute little squirrels that ran by and the birds that chirped all around me kept me company. Breathing in the fresh air, feeling the sunshine on my face, an air of contentedness fell over me. I was alone with my thoughts, and I was okay with that. I took time to mull over ideas and problems. Eventually, I found myself just taking in the beauty of nature, not thinking about anything at all. It was nice to be alone, not dependant or focusing on anything else, just me. I enjoyed myself on my little jaunt outdoors. I can’t say I’ll be venturing out without anyone all the time now, but I had a good time on my walk. It was fine to be doing something alone, and I learned that sometimes it’s good to take time to go with the flow of the world around me, and independently experience what it has to offer.
