In today’s society, sometimes you lose sight of what is actually important to you because that cute guy swiped right for you. It is easy to get caught up in the idea of having a total boyfriend, come to find he’s just a douche bag.

With all the assholes out there, it becomes so rare to find a man that actually wants to get to know you, not just your bedroom. I never realized how skewed my vision was until I actually dated a good guy.

Good men are hard to find, like a unicorn. We know they exist, we know they’re out there, but when will I get to find one? Honestly, I’m not asking for a miracle here, just someone who notices when I do my hair for him, and maybe hold the car door open.

Here are eight signs to know the guy you’re dating is a winner, and not an asshole in disguise.

1. He’s honest

I know this sounds so obvious, but it's not.

The winner is going to tell you exactly how he’s feeling, and he wont have a problem confronting you with what he’s thinking about, good or bad.

2. He pushes you to be the best version of yourself

The winner is going to make sure you’re always pushing yourself to be the best, he’s going to have those words of encouragement, that what you do is in your best interest, that you’re going to be successful, and happy. Let Laney Boggs be a prime example.

3. He actually listens, and hears you

“Men are like mascara, they usually run at the first sign of emotion”.

The winner will actually listen to you. That when you speak he isn’t just listening, but hearing you.

4. He just wants to be with you

The winner is happy going to a bar, or laying in bed watching a movie, as long as you’re there together. Or going to a horrible high school party you can't wait to leave.

5. He makes an effort to see your friends, too

The winner knows that your friends are your family, and these are the people that have helped mold you. He actually wants to meet them to see what you’re all about, and get to know them, too.

6. If you like it, he’ll try it

The winner will make an effort to try new things. He remembered you wanted to take a cooking class, and bought tickets for your next date. It may not be in his comfort zone, but he is always willing to try for you.

7. He keeps you feeling confident

The winner realizes that the extra kiss in the morning puts a pep in your step, he tells you that you look pretty, and actually notices you tried to make dinner—and he appreciates it.

8. He always checks in before bed

He isn’t calling to shut you up for the day, but because he wants to say goodnight before he goes to bed, you’re his last thought of the day.