It's not a topic that I like to discuss often. It's very personal. It can be very triggering. However, I'm sick of hating myself.
We have this idea of what beautiful is. Our society has created an ideal picture of beauty, and sadly, curves and figure are not always a part of that.
I'm not a Size 0. I have never been a Size 0. I will never be a Size 0.
I understand that, but what I don't understand is why I'm ashamed to tell people what size I am. Or why I would rather struggle for an hour to find a size that fits me because asking for help and having to share what size my waist and hips is a struggle for my mental health. Or why going to the gym makes me anxious because I see eighteen other girls that are fitter than me and I have the overwhelming thought that I'm being judged.
Society has created this picture perfect idea of what beautiful is, and it ruins our self-esteem. We believe we have to have a small waist and a small chest to be beautiful, to have the perfect body. We believe that we will never find someone to love us for how we are, but we have to be "fit" or "toned" to make someone like you.
Obviously, I'm guilty of the self-hate.
Some days, I look in the mirror, and I will pick apart every part of my body that I hate, and think about all the ways I can change, all the ways I should change, and all the ways I'm failing myself.
It's a problem that society created, that bullies created, that relationships created.
We aren't born with this hate for ourselves that makes us cry or despise how we look in clothing. We aren't born with this distaste for trying on clothes and having to buy new jeans because we are afraid they won't fit.
Victoria's Secret's scandal over their claim that having plus size and trans women walk as VS Angels is not a fantasy caused quite the controversy and has sparked a lot of hatred for the once loved brand.
On Facebook, an article was floating around that said that Victoria's Secret introduced Barbara Palvin as their first plus size model.
(DISCLAIMER: THIS IS NOT HATEFUL TOWARDS BARABARA PALVIN, I LOVE HER, I'M SIMPLY TALKING ABOUT VICTORIA'S SECRET!)
Victoria's Secret is a f*cking joke. Barbara Palvin? Plus Size?
Since when did plus size mean a Size 6?
Having such a public brand claim that their first plus-size model is only a Size 6 is disgusting when there are plus sizes that range into the twenties and beyond.
Victoria's Secret is only adding fuel to the fire and confirming that society has to think of beauty in such a distinct way.
It's not fair.
It's not fair that the bralettes I want to buy don't fit me because I have broad shoulders and a bigger cup size. It's not fair that I can't fit into overalls because the largest size that Forever 21 has wouldn't even go past my thighs. It's not fair that I have to think twice about everything I wear because part of my stomach is showing and it's "ugly". It's not fair that the shirts that I buy are never perfectly on trend with everything else because my chest wouldn't fit.
It's not fair.
I don't think that anyone should think they're ugly because they don't fit into the stereotype that the world has created.
I don't think that anyone should compare themselves to the models that are plastered on magazines and billboards and Instagram pictures.
EVERYONE IS BEAUTIFUL.
It doesn't matter your weight. It doesn't matter your waist size. It doesn't matter your hair color. It doesn't matter your skin tone. It doesn't matter your fashion style.
On this earth, everyone is beautiful.
It's time that we think all bodies are beautiful.
I'm sick of hating my body. Aren't you sick of it, too?