So, you've just found out your sibling is dating someone new. Now what? Maybe your first thought is "who cares?" But, if you're a little closer to your sib, it may be a bigger deal than you thought.
Everyone has a version of "normal" for them. Yeah, it depends on the time of year and such, but eventually, you settle down into a routine of sorts. When you're close to your siblings, this will undoubtedly include them.
Maybe you carpool together, run errands, or just visit each other once-in-a-while. In whatever capacity, your sibling is a key part of your life. But something has changed.
Of course, you want them to be happy in everything they do, but you may start to realize that hoping they would find someone, and them actually finding someone are two totally different things.
Some quick reactions and things that popped into my own head after learning my sister had started dating someone were:
"OMG, I'm so happy! That's so cute!"
"How long have they been dating? How long has she like him?"
"How dare she stop us from growing old together and becoming cat ladies!"
Basically, innocent thoughts, if not the smallish bit selfish with the end one. Honestly, the beginning is just getting used to the idea that they are now attached to someone else. Someone that you're not used to and that you will now have to decide if you like them or not.
But, it's the latter thoughts that come that bring the bigger questions:
"What does this mean for our time together?"
"Will I have to spend time with them together to get to spend time with her?"
"Will the time we have now be cut even shorter?"
The problem is, you can never know right off the bat what this new relationship will mean for your relationship with your sibling.
But, before you jump to conclusions, remember to take stock of the situation. Your sibling has made a decision that they took a chance on. Yes, this will affect your life somehow, but that isn't the most important thing.
The most important thing right now is to support the happiness of your sibling.
Sure, there's a chance this isn't the perfect match and that's fine. Just don't ruin it for them before they can come to that conclusion. Hold off on your equivalent of the cat lady dream and give them the opportunity to enjoy the honeymoon stage (if it's still called that).
The point is, change is inevitable, and you should make the best of the situation at hand. Yeah, at times you might feel a little more distance than you'd like, but it's their life and happiness at stake.
Put your sibling first in supporting them with their new relationship. Don't put added pressure on yourself or them to make yourself fit into the new "normal." Just relax, it'll happen.
After all, we worry out of love, and that is the best reason. The love and connection between you and your sibling aren't under attack just because their attention is being shared a little more.
Be a steadfast sibling and you won't have to worry about where you fit into all of it, you just will.
