I was scrolling through my Facebook feed recently, and an article caught my eye. The article was entitled It's 2019 — You Should Live With Them BEFORE You Marry Them. It really got me thinking about this idea of living with someone before marriage.
I've grown up with the idea that you shouldn't. Buying a house or an apartment with your spouse is something special and your first step into married life.
Now, the writer of the article, Sierra Groft, talks about not really knowing a person until you live with them. And yeah, that's very true. However, what is the rush to get married? Yes, I would love to be married at a young age (like 25 young), but I am not going to settle for someone I don't know well enough to know their flaws.
I was watching Family Feud with my family and there was a fast money question along the lines of "How long would you wait for a marriage proposal before breaking it off?" My answer was 3 years, the players' answers: 2 months and 9 months. That's SO short! Even the top answer, 1 year, is fairly short.
You should be marrying someone that you love UNCONDITIONALLY. No conditions. Maybe this idea is becoming lost in translation somewhere and that's why the divorce rate is so high.
Groft brings up an experience of moving in with a life long best friend and it not going well.
I love my best friend dearly, and we're planning on getting an apartment together someday. However, the case of moving in with a best friend is different than moving in with a significant other. Yes, your spouse should be another one of your best friends, but there's a difference, and that difference is simple: marriage.
The first year, or more, is always the hardest year of marriage. I've talked to several married couples, including my parents. Why is it so hard? Because you've started living together. It's a real test on the relationship, and if you're scared that something like this could ruin your marriage, maybe they aren't the right person for you, or maybe the two of you just aren't ready.
Marriage is a commitment. Like every commitment you make, you should be going in 100% confident. You should know that the two of your love is so strong it can move mountains. You should love each other more than that hatred you may feel toward each other in the first years of marriage.
You should be able to say "I hate you, but I love you more" because that is ultimately what can get you through the hardest times. Love. Unconditional love.
There will be times where you can't stand each other. He leaves the toilet seat up for the billionth time when you've already had a bad day. She says she doesn't care what's for dinner when she CLEARLY does. He's a slob or she's a neat freak (or vice versa). Stupid little things that cause HUGE arguments.
So, no, you're not really gonna know someone before you move in with them. And yeah it's 2019, no one is gonna judge you if you do live together before marriage. But if you do, just remember, don't give up when the sailing gets rough. Don't give up when their loud chewing gets on your last nerve.
Living together tests your relationship and if you're truly in it for a serious, committed relationship, don't give up.