My hands adjust themselves tightly and grip onto the metal bar. My elbows flex, bringing the bar towards my chest, exhaling the air I had just pulled in, and then as they extend back to their normalcy, the bar returns to its usual position. I do this action repeatedly 12 times for four sets. I finish and look at myself in the mirror, I flex my biceps, self consciously thinking I still have pretty weak arms, even after coach bragged about my body to the entire team a few weeks ago. I gulp down my water a few times, I inhale, exhale, and return to the weights. I look at the clock - it's been an hour and a half since I have been here. I think I can keep going for another hour though.
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I look at the scoreboard, we are down by a lot. I hold on tight to the diamond-shaped ball. I readjust my helmet to speak to my teammates.
"Listen, I know this is our last game of the season. I know we are all nervous. There is a lot at stake here and we all want to make it to playoffs; but if we don't put our heads in this game right now, it's all going to end here."
As soon as we reposition ourselves onto the field again, I hear the whistle being blown, and within the blink of an eye, the red and gold jersey crowd goes wild for the touchdown.
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Coach says I still have a lot to learn as captain, the last time we spoke. I look down and reread the letter that the Nittany Lions sent to me. I feel my heart pounding hard it makes my chest begin to hurt and suddenly it's hard to breathe. My vision becomes impaired as my sight is now blurred by black smoky spots, my head feels like it's spinning and I realize that my cheeks are wet, I am sobbing. "My future is over," I think to myself, "With no scholarship from the only school I have ever dreamed of, I don't know what to do with my life anymore." I reassert myself and stop sobbing. I look at myself in the mirror and notice how much I have gained the past few months at the gym. I flex and scan each one of my defined and toned muscles on my body. At this moment, I realized that perhaps football was not my path anymore.
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I blow the whistle and have the young men line up. I remind them this is not just a casual game, but the National Championships. I remind them that all the hard work, sweat, blood, and tears that had to be pulled during this season cannot be all for anything. I remind them they were chosen for a reason and they wear our colors as a representation of winners - not failures. As they hustle back onto the field, I watch the play while feeling nostalgic of the days and nights I was out there on the field. But watching my boys score a touchdown made everything worth fighting for.
