Friendship is great. I’ve found that I gain a lot out of my friendships with both men and women. Growing up, forming friendships with boys came pretty naturally to me, as I was close with my older brother from a young age. But around fourth grade was when the concept of “Ooooh Maggie is talking to a boy? They must like-like each other!!” began.

In middle school, I had a mixed friend group of guys and girls. The two that I became closest with, and am still friends with today, happen to be guys. Throughout middle school and high school, there was an endless stream of “So when are you and Garrett/Dugan going to date?” Today, we all go to three different universities, but the questions still linger when I describe my two closest friends from home to my UCF friends.

I was never going to date either of them, but that was never a sufficient enough explanation. I came to the frustrating realization that our peers only accepted two excuses. The first was the typical “No way, he’s like my brother!” with the second being “I/he likes someone else."

As Garrett, Dugan and I traversed our way through adolescence, sometimes the second excuse was true. The three of us have been in relationships intermittently through the years, leaving the remaining one or two of us that were single to third wheel. The first excuse about being like siblings, however, got to be a little annoying. In all honesty, I wouldn’t characterize my friendships with Garrett and Dugan as sibling-like; it’s just not quite our dynamic.

I’m not a fan of the assumption that men and women can only be “just friends” if they see each other as family. It undermines the value of platonic, non-familial relationships between men and women. This assumption also reduces interactions between men and women to having only two motives; the hopes of a romantic pursuit, or a sibling like friendship. The reality is that friendships between men and women are just as complex, diverse and fulfilling as same-gendered friendships.

I'm not saying that I favor being friends with men over women, or vice versa. I think that it's important to have a diverse group of friends in order to have exposure to different perspectives. As a woman, I value the male perspective, which is why it's so unfortunate that these friendships can be stigmatized.

Luckily, other peoples’ suspicions never bothered Garrett, Dugan and I. I’ve lost friendships with guys before because they were too concerned with everyone making assumptions. The friends that really matter, regardless of gender, relationship status or distance will always find a way to stick around.