For a bit now, I have been trying to figure out how to talk about the sentiment that I have been feeling in my heart. Trying to fit emotions into words can often times be a struggle, because they never seem to be adequate and accurate. Whether I am angry, affectionate or contemplative, I can never seem to find the right words to express what I am feeling. I say this as almost a disclaimer and a hope that you find a bit of light peeking through my fractured words.

Over the past week I have been thinking about how people view and treat us. And by thinking about this idea, I mean that this idea has been entangled in my daily thoughts. In fact, I have crafted a key idea, almost mantra that has been cycling in my head and heart quite a bit.

Shatter the mirrors

If we are honest with ourselves, how many times do we let other people define us? How often do we give people a mirror and allow them to show us who we are and should be? My guess is that your answer is similar to mine which is more often than I would prefer.

Failure. Not Enough. Too Much. Promiscuous.

Reject. Drama Queen. Wench.

Time and time again, I have allowed other people’s actions or attitudes to dictate who I am. I have taken their words to heart, allowing myself to see myself as something that is so far from the truth of who I am.

This is not to say that sometimes there is not truth in what someone is reflecting back to us, yet I find that in my life the negative reflections are so far removed from truth.

The words, actions and attitudes have not been an accurate reflection of me. They were simply a perspective that these individuals had been conditioned to see the world through, or a perspective through which they choose to see me in order to appease their own self.

In essence, it was as if these mirrors existed to show me how I should see myself.

When I experienced my first heartaches, I saw myself as unwanted and not enough.

When I was brave and told someone that I was hurt by their actions, I was treated like a drama queen.

When someone used me for their own gratification, I was brushed aside as if I was promiscuous or a wench.

When someone told me that my academic and professional accomplishments were not enough, I was asked to see myself as a failure, for in their eyes, I had never measured up.

Let’s face it though, someone will always view us as never enough or too much

Unfortunately there will always be someone around to tell us that we are doing it all wrong, that who we are is someone completely different than who we are or are trying to be.

My loves, listen to me when I say this……

It is okay to smash a few mirrors

It is okay to stand up with a sledgehammer, against all of these reflections staring back and say “No More!”

It is okay to demolish the glass into unrecognizable pieces that can never be put back together

There will always be people that will simply treat us as subhuman. There will be people that will actively or passively make us believe that we do not measure up. We might have given them a mirror long ago, but we can steal it back. The past and those within it no longer have to define us. The present and future individuals that still seek to view us as lowly, regarding us with much distain, we can simply kiss goodbye. Their depictions of our reflections can be irrelevent, if we choose to allow them to be.

My friends, be brave. Do not stay weary for their reflections do not have to stay present. You are loved. You are accepted. You are seen. Now go grab that sledgehammer and smash a few mirrors!