Hello, I'm a normal, twenty-one-year-old Connecticut native who is a bit too obsessed with Instagram. What do I love to post more than anything? Thirst traps. Everyone close with me knows I can't help myself. There's no crime in showing off, and I happen to do it a bit more than normal. Sue me.
A few days ago I posted a moderate thirst trap and lost about forty followers. About two days after that, I posted a gutsy, epic thirst trap. I was terrified to post it but I went for it because I thought I looked great. I was unfollowed by over fifty accounts, and it made me so sad to see. I ended up deleting the picture because I got so upset and couldn't look at it anymore. I thought it was amazing and it made me feel so good, but when I saw all of the lost followers, I felt so upset.
I'm not a Demi Mawby, or Kendall Jenner, or any other perfect celeb or Insta model that dominates social media with their sexy thirst trap pictures. They are praised like social media goddesses who gain more followers by the minute than I do by the month. All I see is praise upon praise. Even if they did get unfollowed, why would they care when they have millions of fans?
Guys see what these women post and think its everything. Girls do too. They'll say Demi looks flawless in her newest post, wow her ass looks amazing, and so on. But when the girl next door posts one too many thirst traps, god forbid she gets any praise for it. People just unfollow her immediately because she's obviously no good! She's just slutting it up! She's not someone I want my boyfriend to follow. She just wants attention.
Would you want someone to look at you the way you're looking at me?
Newsflash, obviously I'm posting something like that because I know it garners attention and there's no shame in wanting a little. I can post whatever I want, yet it hurts me so much to watch the number of followers go down with every picture I post. I get that girlfriends don't want their boyfriends to follow someone who shows off the way I like to. However, your man is probably stalking some Instagram model like Demi or Tammy with pictures far more raunchier than I'll ever post. Just some food for thought when you go judge someone like me who's just posting what she thought she felt good about.
We are so quick to judge in our society. Because I'm not a size two and don't have abs and a gym-toned body with perfect skin and assets straight out of a plastic surgeons office...I mean magazine...doesn't mean you have the right to think I'm anything less than amazing. You judge me for what you praise every other model or celebrity for. Your nose is so high up in the air you don't care how hurtful one stupid unfollow is to someone like me who is struggling to get her confidence back. Those stupid unfollows make me feel ugly, and I shouldn't feel that way.
Why I let Instagram followers get to me is beyond me. It's more upsetting to me that I get so upset over people unfollowing me. I place validation in Instagram likes and when I don't get many and get unfollowed, it's like a knife to the gut. I decided to delete the Instagram app from my phone, and I am taking about a week off from using it. I let it get to me to the point of bringing up very harsh feelings of low confidence and mean thoughts about myself.
I'm more than who you see on Instagram. A picture is worth a thousand words but it still doesn't give a truly accurate representation of who a person is. Did you know I'm a huge Johnny Cash super fan? Did you know I work with people with dementia? Did you know that I'm more than just the girl you're slut-shaming because you think I'm out to steal your man?
I'm going to keep posting what I want to post, and I have to come to terms with people unfollowing me, or not wanting to like my posts. I guess that's life. But I know that not everyone out there is unfollowing me and hating on what I post, and to you all, I am so grateful for, whether I know you or not. Having those amazing people in your life who hype you up no matter what, like my best friends and family members, really helps me keep my chin up.
I know I can't be the only one who's felt this way before. To those of you who understand the hurt and frustration, I understand. We're great and Instagram shouldn't be a part of what defines us. Let jealous girlfriends and stupid boys keep being who they are while you just focus on you, and not the likes.