Customer: (to what I thought was myself and my male co-worker) “What do you know about this Green Arrow Rebirth run? Is it like the New 52 or is it different? Because I didn't like that run.”
Co-Worker: “I honestly don't know anything about Green Arrow. I don't read it”
Me: **chimes in to explain Green Arrow and DCU Rebirth story thus far**
Customer: **Looks at me, cuts me off, and turns to my male co-worker** “Yeah, but you know what I'm talking about, right? So what's the story like? Is it new?”
This is an actual thing that happened to me while I was at work in the comic store I'm at part-time. Among some other wonderful lines I've heard are:
“You're too pretty to be interested in comics”
“Do you actually read comics, or do you just work here?”
“Do you work here because of your boyfriend?”
“Why is there a girl behind the counter?”
I have had customers who will walk past me to a male co-worker to ask a question I am capable of answering (sometimes more capable than they are), I have answered questions and then heard the customer immediately go to a male co-worker and ask the same question, only to be given the same answer, however, they accept it this time and either make the purchase or move on. Yes, it could be said that some of it is coincidence. Maybe it is. But it happens a little too often for that to be the case every time.
Hi. I'm Rachel. And I'm a girl. See? Look!
That's me! That's also the shower in my bathroom!
I have been reading comics, watching anime, and playing video games since I was a kid. I'm a nerd. I always have been and I always will be. For some reason though, because I'm a girl, that's really hard for many male (sometimes even other female) nerds to grasp. More and more women have “come out” as nerds, more of us are joining the culture, yet it still seems to be a ridiculous thought that a girl would collect comics, it's apparently taboo that I'd ever set foot in a comic store, let alone work in one. It's a constant struggle of feeling like I need to prove myself to complete strangers just because I'm a female. I have to provide references to other books I've read with a particular hero to verify I know what I'm talking about, I have to be able to comment on the author or artists work on other books so that they know I'm not just pretending to know who they are. It's like having a pop-quiz every day. And if you don't know one tiny detail, then they'll chuckle and brush you off, totally discounting any feeling of confidence you had in yourself and your knowledge.
The worst part is that a comic store is retail, aka customer service, meaning no matter what stupid shit is said to me, I have to smile like it's no big deal as long as they don't threaten me or sexually harass me. I hear all the excuses for their behavior too when I get upset about it later. It's almost always
1. they “didn't mean it that way”
2. I'm “just being sensitive”
3. “you probably won't even see them again”
As if that's somehow supposed to just make it all better. That it's all good now because it's not what they meant to say. Obviously.
1. Just because you assume someone doesn't mean it that way, doesn't mean that's true, and if it is true, it doesn't change the fact that they said something ignorant and stupid.
2. I'm not being too sensitive. That's all there is to it. I shouldn't have to defend my case.
3. You're right. I probably won't see them again. Meaning they're going to continue with their ignorant thinking and probably upset some other poor girl who's just trying to work in a place surrounded by things she loves. Or they could be a regular and I'll actually see them all the time and have to deal with it over and over again.
I would like to say too, that my co-workers accept me, they acknowledge there are areas I know better than them, they'll direct customers who explicitly avoided me back my way because they know I can answer or help them. It's the customer-base that seems to have the hardest time accepting a woman to help them with their comic questions and needs. I also acknowledge that it's not always a male and it's not EVERY male I run into. So please don't start ranting at me about how “not all guys are like that”. I'm aware. It doesn't make this any less of an issue.
Moving on.
There are few things as frustrating as being treated like you're incompetent just because of your gender or because you look a certain way. This is why the feminist movement is pushing so hard in the comic industry. Because even though I've read comics for years, even though I've invested so much time and money into conventions and cosplays and figures, none of it matters, because a customer takes one look at me and walks the other way. It's a terrible feeling to be a girl and walk into a comic store only to be treated like an idiot, but I honestly think it makes me feel worse to work in a store, to have proven my worth because I clearly earned this job, only for it to still be completely discounted just because I'm a girl.
So if you walk into a comic store, regardless of your gender, and you see a female working, go give her a high-five or something. Acknowledge her. Acknowledge that she's there and that she is capable of helping you. Give her the chance to do so without commenting on her gender or physical appearance or describing your incapability to understand that, yes she is a girl and yes she is, in fact, working in a comic store.
