My name is Jamie and I love getting my freak on. I am a 22-year-old college student at the peak of my young adult life, looking to have a good time.

I have the tendencies of a nymphomaniac but can also only fully enjoy someone sexually if I am entirely attracted to them. If I am just hooking up with someone for one night, climaxing usually doesn’t happen… but that’s not to say I didn’t enjoy the experience.

I’ve always been the girl who has a higher sex drive than anyone I have dated. I expected sex every day with my partner and sometimes it led to arguments. If my boyfriend simply could not keep up with me or was too tired to do the deed with me, I would get offended and think he wasn’t attracted to me. But this isn’t the case. Some people are just normal and enjoy sex when it doesn’t feel like a chore.

I was never satisfied when it came to having sex with my boyfriend. No matter how many times we did it, I could never get enough. This ultimately led to the end of my relationships as it sparked a domino effect of other issues to rise.

After a series of breakups and jumping into new relationships, I realized my pattern of immediately hooking up with someone and dating them was obviously not working out in my favor. I guess this is what people mean when they say to wait to have sex. A relationship should never be founded on a series of hookups, because more likely than not, it won’t work out in the end. The sexual spark will fade eventually and that is when you realize you went into this for all the wrong reasons.

So, I decided to just keep to myself for a while… at least, until I learned to be alone and comfortable by myself. My constant craving for sexual intimacy was a problem I needed to fix. I didn’t love myself but expected to be able to love someone else in the most intimate way. But I came to the conclusion you cannot pour out of a cup that is empty. There is no way I would be able to love someone else if I didn’t even love myself yet.

Going celibate for a while was like a death sentence for my pink fortress. It was almost like being deprived of air.

But I knew I needed to fix this problem before I could go back to having regular sex. I wanted to be someone else's special someone instead of a sex toy to be tossed around and shared. I needed some time to just do me (pun intended).

Abstinence was a very empowering lesson I learned through this process. Sex used to be on my mind 24/7. After finding interest in other things, I realized it’s okay to not have sex all the time. It’s okay to say no to someone. It’s okay to find happiness in other things besides engaging in coitus.

I also learned the happiness you get from sex is not a substitute to lasting joy. One of the reasons I craved sex so much was because I was not happy. I was looking at sex as a way to escape my sadness for a moment of ecstasy. I was addicted.

The joy I got from the 15 seconds of climaxing blinded me to the fact that I was sleeping with a total jerk. At the time, it didn’t matter because all I cared about was getting to the finish line and feeling wanted by someone, anyone.

Sex is a drug. And when you allow someone else to hold the key to your happiness, you rely on someone else for your fix. In this way, your partner becomes a drug dealer in a sense. This person holds a certain power over you and your happiness when you succumb to these types of desires.

When you cut off sex, you are able to separate yourself from your sexuality and can finally figure out what makes you happy... the type of long-lasting happiness that is much longer than the short-lived happiness you get from an orgasm.

Soon I found joy in things other than making a guy curl his toes in excitement. It allowed me to love my body instead of asking someone else to love it for me.

Nowadays, I still have my occasional hookup, but I feel that it is normal for college hook-up culture. The important thing is I can still hook up with someone and love myself after. I can go weeks without having sex and be okay. I finally hold the key to my happiness and don’t need someone else to love my body for me to feel good enough about myself. I love me the way I am and someone special someday might get to share that with me.