So, you no longer self-identify as a “virgin” and currently wear the label we constantly hear hearkening behind closed doors of McKinley Health Center, known as “sexually active.”
Congratulations. You have now entered a new realm of adulthood marking a significant rite of passage as you depart from your youth. After your first few experiences you probably, and completely understandably, battled over some distraught emotions wondering, did I rush into this? Was he the “right” one? When will the pain relent? Am I even being safe enough? These might be a few questions you contemplate, along with a million other racing thoughts.
Now, you could say you’re feeling pretty cool about it all, having reached a comfort level with a basic knowledge and understanding of sex. That should suffice for the rest of your future sexual occurrences, right? Wrong. With more experience and growing self-awareness, you've probably realized just how complicated and mysterious sex actually is. After you’ve mastered all the basic anatomical content and mechanical jargon, you’re led into a plethora of even more concerns and areas of doubt, leaving you dazed and confused. That’s where this crash course of Sex 2-01 comes in. So sit back, relax, and grab some paper and something to write with; you might want to take a few notes.
FAQ #1: What’s up with having to pee right after sex? Slash, why am I all of a sudden getting diagnosed with UTI’s as if my bladder decided to stop working?
For those who do not know, UTI, is referring to Urinary Tract Infection. A very common infection in babies and children, it is caused by “bacteria that invade the urethra, bladder, ureters or kidneys” resulting in symptoms of frequent, painful or burning sensations during urination, or blood in the urine. When women become sexually active, UTI’s may become a more recurrent problem since “movement and friction in the genital area can cause bacteria to enter the urethra.” (Urinary Tract Infections: The Basics)
Yuck! and ouch! basically sum up UTIs. Thankfully, there are ways to prevent getting infected, which explains this seemingly mythical, but actually useful, tip of urinating immediately after intercourse. By doing so, you are, in a sense, flushing out the undercarriage of any unwanted bacteria that could be left lingering to later cause infection. Another important aspect of this tip is to be conscious of how you wipe, not to be too TMI. If you didn’t already know, always wipe in a front to back direction. Basically, keep it clean down there and perhaps make an effort to carry baby wipes on you for added cleanliness.
FAQ#2: Does taking my birth control a couple hours late alter the effectiveness?
Your gynecologist probably should have made this clear to you depending on your initial need for an oral contraceptive. Nevertheless, I am happy to break it down for you. Bottom line: Yes. Timing is important and it will influence the protection effectiveness of your birth control. Let’s say you normally take the pill at 8 p.m. each night. Today was a hectic day, and to top it off, you lost the wallet holding your precious pill pack. As you frantically shuffle through your purse in search, the clock suddenly strikes. It is now 8:37 p.m. It’s okay. You can breathe now, because you are not doomed.
Obviously, a few minutes or even a couple hours, at the most, will not fully ruin the grand scheme of protecting those eggs from ovulating, if we’re going to get technical. However, don’t push your luck by taking your pill at radically different times each day and expect to be smooth sailing in the land of protection. Birth control is a carefully balanced combination of chemicals to manipulate your hormones. In fact, one birth control pill contains exactly 24 hours worth of hormones, so if you don’t take it within that reasonable two-hour time frame, you risk the repercussions of not only decreased pregnancy protection, but also throwing off your body in other ways.
For example, you may notice changes in your mood, presence of acne, period flow and regularity, as well as breakthrough bleeding. In order for this system to function properly, you need to establish some type of schedule so that your body gets into a routine and can adjust accordingly. If you are faced with a situation where you are unable to take the pill on time, be sure to prepare and use a backup method of contraceptive, such as condoms for more secure protection. Condoms are also great since they help prevent the spread of STDs. Don’t forget, your birth control can do many things, but it won’t help you with STDs. There are also other methods of female birth control if being loyal to a pack of pills doesn’t fly for you. These days, there is a prescription shot (Depo-Provera), a patch you temporarily stick on your body, and an array of diaphragms, caps and shields you can implement to enforce a more tangible barrier (9 Common Birth Control Options).
FAQ#3: All my friends brag about their, literally, orgasmic, encounters, and here I am with nothing to contribute in this conversation; what’s wrong with me?
The short answer: Nothing. You may have not experienced an orgasm yet. But, the truth is, the art of climaxing for women during intercourse is, quite honestly, a peculiar phenomenon that is unique to the individual and is often unpredictable when sex is newer and something you are growing accustomed to. There are many factors that play a part into how often we experience a climax, such as stimulation location and intensity, your personal level of stress and comfortability and, surprisingly enough, your partner’s sperm activity may even have an effect (Orgasm Facts: 14 Things You Never Knew About Climaxes).
The main takeaway is you are not to worry if you haven’t had the chance to get that special “starts in my toes, makes me crinkle my nose” feeling that we all assumed Colbie Caillat was referring to in her 2007 hit, "Bubbly." Just like the act of sex itself, over time you will develop a higher comfort level with your own body, its sensations, and hopefully you can build a relationship or closer bond with your chosen partner. When you can truly let go, relax, and trust your body, I bet you’ll get that earth- shattering climax you’ve been waiting for in no time. Then, at your next girl’s night gab sesh, you can jump in on the hot gossip, dishing about how your orgasm was so incredible that it brought you to tears. And no, I’m not exaggerating, it can happen.
