I am straight edge, probably the least common thing to see and hear about on a college campus — well, besides motivation after the first week of classes. No one seems to talk about it or even think about it, probably because straight edge individuals like myself are typically the minority on campus. Straight edge does not mean straight up boring like many believe; it means that I have made the choice to abstain from the college "party" culture. I do not drink, smoke or do any drugs, and I have never wanted to. My decision to abstain doesn't mean that I don't have fun, but it does mean that I’m excluded from a significant part of college culture.

At this point you may be wondering, "Why does this girl choose to stay in every weekend?" and that's a valid question. I can't speak for everyone who abstains from party culture because we all have our own motivations, but for me, my choice was not one I made just to appease my parents. My decision was one that I made after living the last 10 years of my life as my family dealt with my oldest brother's addiction.

When something is repeatedly done is excess, that's substance abuse. I know not many would agree that frequenting townhouse parties and drinking, or doing whatever, is substance abuse, but unfortunately it kind of is. My cross-addicted big brother fought his demons in the form of addictions to both heroin and alcohol for half of his life. I was there when heroin claimed that life and quite frankly, I don't want to be involved with a culture that chips away at lives no matter how harmless some may consider it. I think that it is ignorant to believe that addiction is impossible when just having some fun on a Friday night and I find it even more ignorant when people view me as "no fun" without knowing everything that I have seen and went through.

I'm well aware of the distinction between alcohol and heroin, and I know that one is clearly worse than the other, but I can't control my hyper-sensitivity to mind-altering substances. As far as I'm concerned, if coffee is considered a highly addictive substance, then alcohol ranks pretty high on the danger chart. That is not to say that I avoid it because I'm afraid that I'll become addicted, but I'm afraid of it changing who I am and of not having complete control of my actions. I've never been one who needed "liquid courage" because I can strike up a conversation with anyone. I'm happy and confident with who I am, and if you can't get enough courage to talk to me while sober, then you are definitely not someone I want to talk to when you're drunk because you’re not really yourself.

People tell me that I can still go to parties to dance and meet new people — trust me, I've heard it a lot. Perhaps not all straight edge people would agree with me, but I don't want to see substance abuse at all. I want nothing to do with it and I would appreciate it if people would stop encouraging me to "go out." There is also the notion that I should still hang around with everyone while they are "pregaming" so that I won't be left out, but honestly, I feel more isolated when that's even suggested. It makes me feel that no one is sensitive to my situation and it hurts me. There is nothing worse than being an outcast for choosing to be responsible.

I don't want to sit here and bash drinkers and party-goers because everyone makes their own decision when it comes to parties while at college. I have no authority to make bold claims that drinkers are bad people, reckless or addicts. Party-goers are just individuals who have had different life experiences from me and made their decisions according to those experiences. Not everyone had to personally witness his or her brother die from addiction. No one is right or wrong, but we need to be aware of the views of other people so that no one is judged.

I watched my brother abuse substances for a decade and I was physically there when the abuse became too much. All I ask for is some common courtesy and refraining from critical judgement. I would hope that if you could get anything out of this article that it would be to be sensitive to others without jumping to conclusions. Never tell a non-drinker to go out, but also never push them to explain themselves either. Do as you please at college and always be sure to make good choices that align with your views, not the views of others. You don’t always know a person’s story, but maybe they have a good reason for choosing not to drink.