As I packed up my car to make the 7.5 hour drive from Atlanta to Bloomington one final time, a rush of emotions came over me. How can it be that just three short years ago I was going to Bloomington for the first time for the start of freshman year? It's all too scary to think about how fast time has flown by. I felt extra weird going back to Bloomington this time around not just because it was my final year of school ever, but I also had been abroad all spring semester and wasn't prepared to be back on a real college campus yet.
I knew this year was going to be different for a number of reasons. Just to name a few, we could now go to the bars *g-bless my 21st birthday*, my friends now lived in their own houses throughout downtown, and I was living in a house with six other girls. I never thought that these differences would seem to effect me so much.
The beginning of a new school year is a transitional period for everyone, no matter what school or grade you're in. Everyone is readjusting and getting used to their new surroundings and rekindling with old friends that we haven't seen in months. For me, my friend group hadn't been all in the same place since December 2015, so I was overly excited to get back into the groove of things.
While walking to class during the first week of the semester, a strange feeling overcame me. A feeling that was awfully familiar, but one I hadn't felt since I was a kid. A summer camp feeling.
That's when it hit me. Being a college student is like going to summer camp, but with school involved. Think about it; you have a schedule of "activities" that you have to be at during a certain time, you have your free play or nights out with your friends, and there are no parents around to monitor what food you're stuffing your face with.
It never hit me until senior year that going to college was similar to going to camp. I suppose part of it has to do with the greater amount of freedom that is felt during senior year because it's the last year to actually get your shit together. Just like the last year as a camper when you have to prove to the other staff members that you're ready to be in their shoes, your senior year of college is about proving to yourself and others that you're ready to be a functional adult in society. This is the very thought that haunts my dreams. How am I supposed to know if I'm ready to be a functional member of society? We're raised by our parents our whole lives, and then one day they drop us off at some college campus across the country, say goodbye, and tell themselves that their baby is ready to be on their own and spread their wings. How did they know if I was truly ready? I guess they just hoped for the best and assured themselves that I would make it one way or the other.
In some way I'm overjoyed to be a senior in college preparing to experience the real world and getting myself out there. But at the same time, I'm scared shitless. Questions like, where am I going to be a year from now, and who am I going to be? constantly flow through my head.
I keep telling myself to take each day one step at a time and just stop and smell the roses, but then the fear of being a homeless person on the streets creeps in. Luckily, I have the support of so many people that I'm hoping they won't ever let me be homeless, so at least I have that going for me. If you find me a year from now sitting in a box in people's park, please alert the media. otherwise, I'm just hoping right now that someone offers me a job. So hey! if you're reading this and hiring, I'm a senior at Indiana University studying public relations and advertising and I need a job so let me know if you want to hire me!
