Life is a never-ending cycle of beginnings and endings. The end of highschool was something (although expected) not fully understood. Entering college has proven to be a whirlwind of emotions. For the past year, people have told me to be excited for the best years of my life. Such anticipation made me feel eager for the years ahead and in a rush to finish high school. Now, sitting in a 15'X11' box with paper thin walls and an air conditioning unit that only has one degree (freezing), I recollect and feel an ache for when the hardest part of my day was getting out the door at 3:30 p.m. while 1,600 kids rushed to get home. High school is a consistency and comfort that is often times overlooked. As the saying goes: you never know what you have until it’s gone.
My sister is a senior in high school now, and I see the ease with which she and her friends have making plans and simply just knowing where they fit in. I forgot how it felt to walk into a classroom of 30 people max and recognize all the faces, knowing where I could sit and who would be ready to hear my latest rant. Now, entering a room of 300 is terrifying, and each face is a mystery. My classmates range from the ages of 18 to even 24, so while some may be as confused as I am, others have their lives put together, and to me that is perplexing.
What I remember now from my last year in high school is that everything made sense. I would go to school and maybe stay for a couple of hours after and do an extracurricular, but then I could go home and turn off. Now, my classes are sporadically arranged through the day, and when I finally do get to stop, I can’t turn off. People constantly surround me, and being a new student, I feel the need to always be on my best behavior since my new peers do not know the little things I change about myself when I am tired or in a bad mood. I urge my sister to appreciate the people who have been by her side for the past four years. I urge her to feel comfort in knowing that she has so many people who are ready to help her in her times of need. In college, you do not just jump into that network of friends; it takes some time, and while you wait, there isn’t much you can turn to. The friends you make during your first month of college have a very low chance of remaining your friends. As classes change and on a campus so large, it's not uncommon for you to lose touch with friends you once saw every day.
Senior year is a time for memories. Only now do I look back on mine and feel warmth. I wish I took the time to take more pictures and rejoice with my friends during a time when our parents handled all external problems. Now, no one checks to see if I have eaten dinner, and by 11pm, I often realize I haven’t. As a senior, I felt my life was figured out. My friends and I all had the same nonchalance about approaching any obstacle thrown our way. We all had "senioritis," and it felt great to be able to just coast through our last semester knowing that we had college and ‘the best years of our lives’ to look forward to. I tell my sister to hold onto her last year in high school because when college comes, it’s easy to get lost in the chaos.
Life is divided into phases: phases of new beginnings and opportunities. Now as a freshman in college, I can take the lessons I have learned over the years and the experiences I gained to help me evolve into the person I hope I become at age 24. At this very moment, college is starting, and a new part of my life is beginning as a big part of my life is leaving me. I have to face this opportunity to change with grace, and accept the fact that the comfort I grew to love in high school will soon come again.
