You did it. You made it. You survived.
A year ago you never thought you’d make it to this point, but you did. I am sitting here writing this letter to you, my past self, to tell you that you made it! You got through one of the hardest years of your life. I’m writing this for you because as I look back at old pictures, old texts, etc., I remember the pain you felt. I remember the hopelessness you felt, and how impossible everything was. But I’m here to tell you how proud I am that you, we, got through it all.
Do you remember that summer? You thought that summer would be perfect, but it was really the second worst summer of your life. All because of a boy. But he loved you, right? I mean, he talked like he did. He kind of acted like he did. He even said he did. So naturally, he did, right? You let your whole summer be consumed by him. You were so miserable. From June, his birthday and Deana’s death anniversary day, to July, then August. He told you all of these things, these lies, and you loved him so you believed him. You knew he was lying. But you ignored it. You gave him so many chances, and finally you got away from it. You may not be happy with yourself, but let me tell you: I am so proud of you.
Do you remember the winter? December and January? Those wonderful good times that became a giant nightmare? You made a mistake, you went back. You regret it to this day, but you also wonder how things would be if you’d acted different or he had been honest. You wish you’d never met him, but without him you wouldn’t have your best friend and you wouldn’t know his amazing family. You learned so much in those two months, and despite the pain that time brought, you had fun. You were happy. Don’t forget that. Look at the memories and remember the good times, not only the bad. Don’t let those dark days ruin what once was the only light in your life. You lost that future, you thought you’d never make it through that pain. But you did. You finally moved on. You know your worth now. You know you are not the terrible things he said you were, not the terrible things he made you feel. You are beautiful, strong, and more independent than ever. Despite what he may think, I am so proud of you.
Do you remember worrying about where to go for college? You wanted so badly to go to Valpo, but people kept doubting you. You didn’t think you should even apply because they said you had no chance. It was your dream college, though. You wanted it more than anything. So you went for it. You got accepted. You are in your second semester already. You have made so many wonderful friends; a second family It is now your home . You didn’t listen to what anyone said, and for that I am so proud of you.
Do you remember worrying about graduation? Do you remember questioning if you’d ever even see the day you’d graduate? There was a time when you weren’t sure you’d even see the day you turned 18, much less graduate. You did, though. You made it to 18 and you made it to graduation. You made it to college. You made it.
You have come so far in the last year. You have changed so much. You are such a wonderful person now. For so many years, you doubted yourself and hated yourself and didn’t know what to do. But here you are.
You are a high school graduate.
You are enrolled in college classes.
You have life goals.
You believe in yourself.
For you, myself from a year ago, and for myself years from now…
I am so proud of you.
