When he sees you he doesn't simply see acne ridden skin, round thighs, and a messy mane of hair, as you so often see-- he sees someone beautiful. He takes something that your eyes have grown oh-so accustomed to, and breathes life into them again. He focuses not on the flaws, but on every aspect and every detail that your own vision fails to see. What this boy gives you is validation.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with accepting these compliments and growing from them. There is such a selfless love found in being able to love another with your whole self, looking past imperfections into the heart of another human being.

But our fatal flaw comes from defining ourselves from these traits alone, when we bow to these compliments, and accept them as the only truth about ourselves. When our skirts become shorter because "he likes it," when we bite our tongue because we don't want to anger him with our opinions, when we lose our sense of self, all in his name.

Honey, this boy does not hold the truth about you. If his intentions are pure, his words of encouragement toward you should only be a growing point, a platform, to understanding the beautiful woman God has created you to be. His words should be a reminder of your worth. And if he pursues you for all the wrong reasons? Dump him. You were created to be cherished, loved and held by only those who are worthy. Never settle for anything less.

To quote a previous article, "Nice" is one of the poorest adjectives to describe a human being. Nice, on its own, holds a very hollow value. Morning coffee is nice, sleeping in is nice, and sunny days are nice. People are so much more than nice, so much more than just "kind," "pretty," or "funny."

This holds true even still. This boy that you constantly define yourself by is only a reflection of the false sense of validation that you want. And let me tell you a little secret-- we all want that validation. We all want to be told we're worthy, because we all struggle with a lack of self-love. Why? Because we know ourselves. As stated before, we have grown accustomed to ourselves-- we are blinded to our beauty, but our sins and our downfalls seem ever-louder, because we are forever faced with the challenge of "not being good enough." We cannot see our kindness, our intelligence, our joy, our beauty. But when someone comes along, someone who can see that in us, we run towards them. There is something to be said here, how every single human on earth desperately wants to be loved.

But God has called you His before anyone else even had the chance to. He knitted you perfectly in the womb, breathed life into you and called upon you with an ever-beckoning force. This boy did not. This boy did not number the billions of strands of hair upon your head, he does not hold together every molecule of your being and he was not the first one to call you "beloved."

We want a love that is tangible. We can hold it, wrap our arms around it and draw it close when we are afraid. But I challenge you to step out. I challenge you to let go.

For so long, I was in search of someone to love me. I wanted to fill the hollowness in my heart. But as I tried to force love, time and time again, I realized the void only grew wider, and deeper. And, while I still struggle very much with learning to love, I know now that by forcing love, I lose a stronger sense of who I am to begin with. I build myself up with these little opinions, and take them as the only truth about myself. But I realize now as I write, that God has called me to something even greater still. I am more than an opinion. I am loved, I am beautiful and I am worthy. And dear friend, you are more loved, more beautiful, and more worthy than you even know.

You are a daughter of the Most High. That is where your definition comes from, first and foremost. Do not settle for scum, because simply put, you deserve the very best. Walk in your righteous robes.

Song of Solomon 4:7, "You are altogether beautiful, my darling-- there is no flaw in you."