As a young adult in the 21st century, there are plenty of people whom I know will be able to relate to this problem.
People of all ages, races, ethnicities, sizes, sexual orientations and genders have a universal battle with self-esteem and image. Being able to relate closely to those around you who have similar struggles with their image, self-confidence or self-esteem is somewhat relieving though. Just having those people who experience the same troubles as you make the situation a little less lonely. Here's why having these internal battles is actually okay.
1. You have more growing to do.
Photo by Nikola Jovanovic
As young adults, whether you're in college furthering your education, are living paycheck to paycheck in full-time work, or are a stay-at-home person, looking at those around you can be detrimental to your mental image of yourself. Though looks can be deceiving, for the most part, having a negative way of seeing oneself is not good for one's mental health. It's important to remember that there is still more growing and maturing to do. Life becomes a huge "lesson learned," and the lessons never run out. Every experience, feeling, or friendship/relationship can be eye-opening. It can open up doors full of opportunities that one would never think of seeing. Remember that you're not done growing yet, and there's so much promise for your future. Keep your head up and understand that it'll come in time.
2. Your body and appearance are unique to you.
Photo by Shifaaz shamoon
The way that you look to others may be a very different way of how you see yourself. While this is normal, what's not healthy for oneself is constantly comparing the way that one looks next to others. No one person looks exactly the same aside from identical twins; but even then, there are small distinctive differences. Every person that walks this Earth is different from every person around them. The way or bodies are shaped, the type and color of hair that we each have, the length of our fingers and toes, how tall we each are, etc. The list goes on and on. The way that you look is unique to you, and you should be happy for each and every detail that you contain that makes you different.
3. Puberty has its effect on you, but it's not a permanent process.
Photo by Toa Heftiba
This kind of goes along with having more growing to do. Though puberty can be a reason as to why adolescents start experiencing body image and self-confidence issues so early on in life, it isn't always a reason why people still struggle with how they look. Even though as a young adult, I'm still experiencing a little bit of puberty, it's obviously not the reason why I still have my personal body image issues. I'm 20 years old, so it's very clear that puberty took its course, but now its all in my head. Just knowing this fact will put you on the right track. Remember it.
4. Social media tears us down.
Photo by Erik Lucatero
Social media - in all its glory - is an unhealthy part of our everyday lives. It can be toxic. Scrolling down an instagram or twitter feed, looking at those that we worship and wish we looked like, and looking into other's statuses is what can make us feel like we don't look as good as others and that we never will. The truth is: yes, you'll never look like someone that you see on social media. For the sole reason that you're a unique person in the way that you're man-made, you'll never look like anyone else in this world. And wishing that you did won't help you. Work on making yourself feel good about yourself, and don't strive to look like someone else. Be a better you for you.
5. Wear those clothes that you've left untouched for so long.
Photo by Lauren Fleischmann
I still have lots to learn in my life, but I can credit a close friend for telling me that if I never step out of my comfort zone, I'll never see what it feels like. In a relative situation, I was shopping for some new shirts one day, and I kept going back to long sleeve shirts, big t-shirts and lightweight jackets - it's what I'm used to wearing. I was then told to look for crop tops, zip-ups or short sleeved blouses since I don't normally shop for those (for those of you fellow broke college students, Plato's Closet has you covered).
The only way that I could genuinely understand how different those clothes would look in my eyes was to try them on; and when I did, I had a slightly new perspective. The point here is: anyone can make clothes look good. It doesn't matter your body type, shape or size, if you want to wear those clothes, then you wear them to make yourself feel good. You probably look good to those around you as well.
The bottom line is this: you're not all by yourself on your journey to boost your self-esteem and self-confidence. There are many others like you, myself included, who are not necessarily happy with the way that they see themselves. But progressively maturing, understanding that there's more in store for you, and surrounding yourself with positivity will surely help you grow in all of the right ways.
