Going to a four-year university and feeling overwhelmed with the need to graduate by the exact deadline given to you by mentors, peers, family, and more... sound familiar?

Being a first-generation college student has its ups and downs. My family looks at me with admiration for doing something they had never accomplished, but that also brings on self-pressure to not let them down and to finish school by _(graduation year here)_. It's scary, it's overwhelming, it's so many things.

Lately, I've been having doubts about what I am capable of doing and by when. I think we should normalize needing some extra time to finish our studies if needed. One of my best friends told me, "Not everyone has those four years and have that be the only thing they focus on." He is right. Life can get in the way, sometimes we don't get the grade we were hoping for, and that's life.

I need to learn how not to be so hard on myself. I find myself doing this more often than I'd like to admit, countless cry sessions, getting lost in my head about how well I'm doing in school. I wish there was a magic button to train my brain out of this mentality but sadly that's not possible. Change of mentality comes with a lot of time, patience, stumbles, and trial and error.

Having solid support systems really helps (and they know who they are in my life). There is nothing like a friend who you wholeheartedly trust who believes in you and loves you no matter what.

Being completely raw and real, I'm scared of "not knowing." Not knowing if my major is still my pursuit in life, not knowing when exactly I'll graduate, not being sure of myself as a person. That's an intimidating thing to come to terms with (if at all). I'm really trying and I want to get to a point where I can be sure of myself, confident in what is to come. Become more accepting of things as they happen to me rather than stress over every minor detail.

I am speaking this into existence.