We’re now a month into summer and many of us have finished binge-watching every TV series from the past decade. Those who are brave enough to leave their houses and go outside are probably way too tan by now, and should probably find a new hobby. For those of us who aren’t traveling this summer, cabin fever is reaching its peak and there’s still two more months left. Here are some fun self-improvement pastimes to try to preserve your sanity this summer and be your best self for the upcoming school year.
Train for a 5k
Go for a run. Just do it. Keep going until it starts to feel good. Literally do not stop, no matter what. Run until you’ve worn out the soles of your shoes and then start running barefoot. Never come back. Begin a nomadic lifestyle and forage berries along the running trail. Accidentally compete in a marathon like this dog. Escape civilization and literally run away from responsibility. It’s all in the name of fitness and personal records, so go for the gold and run away from all of your problems.
Get that summer bod’ you’ve always wanted
I know you’ve already watched hundreds of hours of Netflix, but you’ll feel better about yourself if you just keep watching. As good old Isaac Newton once said, an object at rest will stay at rest until acted upon by a large enough panic…no, that’s not it. Close enough. You’re already great at sleeping and eating, just like our dear friend The Very Hungry Caterpillar. Build yourself a cocoon and eat enough popcorn, and one day you’ll wake up as a beautiful butterfly who isn’t entirely dependent on instant movie-streaming websites.
Prepare for next school year
Browse the course catalog and start thinking about what classes you want to take in the fall. It’s never too early to begin blue-booking, am I right? Of course, this means you’ll read through dozens of syllabi (unless you’re pre-med, in which case you’re already insane and this list clearly doesn’t apply to you). Make sure to pick nothing but gut classes, because just reading the syllabi is enough to cause a full-blown panic attack. While it might not be the most fun, you’ll have gotten plenty of practice panicking before the school year begins, so you’ll be an expert at having a full mental break-down by the time the semester starts and you receive the same syllabi in class.
Pick up a new hobby
Treat yo’self to an adult coloring book (or a children’s Avengers coloring book, I won’t judge). And if you give a student a coloring book, they’ll probably want a set of colored pencils. And once they’ve finished coloring, they’ll ask for a set of paints. Next thing you know, you’re sitting on the floor of your apartment surrounded by half-finished artwork that could rival a 5-year-old’s. You’ll become addicted and wind up using every cup you own for paint-water, but that’s a small sacrifice for the sake of art. Disclaimer: if you become so passionate about art that you end up dropping out of school and becoming a starving artist, I am not responsible.
Work for NASA
This NASA study circulates the Internet every few months and I’m still not sure if it’s even a legitimate study since NASA themselves removed the article from their website but left the headline. If you’re desperate enough and think you’ve got enough sloth experience, I’m sure you could contact NASA directly and apply. Cure your self-imposed cabin fever with mandatory cabin fever. After a few weeks of vegging out, you’re already on a roll, so you might as well keep it up and get paid while you’re at it. Disclaimer: I am not responsible for any consequences or humiliation that may occur as a result of attempting to contact NASA for a study that does not appear to be currently available to the public.
