A lot of thoughts have been on my mind lately - one, in particular, is self-care. This has been a crazy year, and one commitment which would have kept me in much better shape is putting myself first. It is so easy to become caught up with life and forget to take care of yourself. I had no idea how severely I was harming myself over a prolonged period of time until I needed professional help. There are many easy ways to take care of yourself. Doing the basics will not make you feel better but be more productive in everyday responsibilities and goals.

1. Find Time to Exercise Every day

This is one a lot of people struggle with - including me. Everyone should make it a necessity because you will not only look better but feel better. Exercising releases endorphins - a natural mood booster. I get it - not everyone has time for the gym. Lucky for you - there are many other ways to exercise. Whether it is going on a walk with a friend or pet, taking a Zumba class, following a guided yoga on YouTube, or taking the stairs at work, exercise is vital. A lot of people stress out over exercising. It defeats the point of it being a form of self-care. It is vital to find something you will enjoy. It doesn't need to be hours long or inconvenient. Find ways to be active in your everyday life. It could be as easy as walking or biking to work instead of taking a car or other transportation (depending how far you are traveling). Exercise can be fun. Just as you might personalize your phone case or room - exercise needs to be personalized too. It needs to be appealing to you in a way that fits into your current schedule and life.

2. Find Healthy Ways to Cope with Stress

I am very guilty of this one. I am really good at cramming 200 activities and commitments into my life to the point where I barely have time to sleep at night. This is a lesson I learned the hard way. I eventually was not able to function because I made no time for myself. Every day there should be one activity you look forward to - whether that is taking a bubble bath, watching your favorite tv show, calling a friend or family member, talking to your roommates at the end of the day, spending time with a pet, creating something - anything you enjoy. This needs to again be personalized - something you like yet can incorporate into your current schedule and commitments.

3. Cut out the Extra Stuff

I was convinced I could do everything. I thought I could be superwoman. To be honest, none of us are superwomen (or supermen). By that I mean we are all human. We all have limits. We all make mistakes. We all have feelings. Don't be involved in an activity or organization unless your heart is there. Don't go out of your way for others or sign up for commitments if the thought of going (closer to the commitments) stresses you out or you don't have time. It is important to be in the moment. Enjoy your life - even during the stressful times. No one can be #1 at everything - including you! So make your commitments clear and only be involved in what you can handle. We all have limits and it is not healthy to push far beyond these limits. It just ends up being a back track and a pure waste of time.

4. Communicate with Those You Love

I cannot emphasize ENOUGH how important this is. Communication is part of putting yourself first. A person you care about has no idea what you are thinking or feeling unless it is communicated. Some friends and family cannot meet every single one of your needs. Heck - it is hard to find one or two people to fulfill all of a person's needs. Your needs are important, and that includes your emotional needs. Every friend does not need to be a best friend. Every family member does not need to know everything. Find departments where the people in your life fit. Alexis can be great for going on adventures, Alex is great for watching movies with, but with Sarah you know you can tell everything - because she is your best friend which means she understands your needs in the way you understand hers. On the other hand, it is okay to realize a relationship is not working because a person cannot fulfill your needs - whatever that might be. It has nothing to do with the person really, but everything to do with yourself. It is vital to be with people who make you feel good. If someone is making you feel bad over and over - evaluate why this is happening and if it is healthy. It is perfectly okay to let go of relationships toxic to your well-being.

5. Practice Mindfulness and Meditation 

Mindfulness is simply being aware. There are many meditations which incorporate mindfulness into meditation. One app I really enjoy is called Calm. I can sometimes be a stress machine, and this app helps me on the go. I am a music major and I often become stressed when practicing. If this happens, I have trouble focusing. What do I do? I take a break. Meditation can be incorporated in several ways. Another could be simply closing your eyes and breathing while listening to calming music. You can determine what this calming music is - it could be sounds in nature, a playlist with your favorite mellow songs. Anything. I really like Spotify for this purpose. Not only does Spotify have many already made playlists for mediation, but you can easily create your own. If music is not your thing, simply breathing in a quiet place or somewhere you feel safe can also be effective. One coping method I have recently learned is inspired by the Islamic religion. First, breathe in and out slowly with eyes closed. While you do this, tap each ligament on each finger (one finger at a time) three times - thinking of something positive for each ligament. For example, for the first ligament on your pinky finger, think about how you are thankful for kindness - tap three times. Next, move to the second ligament on your pinky finger and think about the beach. Tap the ligament three times and move onto the last ligament, etc. The next finger would be your ring finger.

6. Eat Balanced Meals

As a music major, it is so easy for me to skip meals - sometimes I go the whole day without eating and barely notice. I honestly got used to it. There was one time this past semester I pretty much stopped eating for an entire month. I not only developed a terrible mental state, but I drastically lost weight. I stopped caring about myself. I used to roll my eyes when people would tell me to eat, but you need to. It effected my mood drastically to skip meals. If you have a busy schedule like me, pack your meals ahead of time. For example, have yogurt or granola bars ready to go for breakfast and pack a salad or sandwich for lunch. If you don't have time to eat you need to cut something out of your life. Again, I used to roll me eyes when my dad would tell me this, but it is true. Eventually skipping meals caught up to me. I had no energy and it eventually led to bigger problems.

7. You Cannot Rely on Anyone but Yourself

Do not isolate yourself. That is the worst thing you can do to be happy and healthy. But on the other hand, you cannot rely on others to baby you or make sure you are taking care of yourself. Friends and family can support you, but ultimately it is your decision to make progress. It is perfectly okay to need help - maybe more help than someone else, but at the end of the day your success is on you and what you do with your life. As a person who has diagnosed depression, I totally understand being depressed and feeling hopeless at times. There have been times I did not want to feel better. What really motivated me and kicked me out of this state of mind was honestly seeing people worse than me. To be around people who cannot get out of bed - all day every day. To see people ruin there lives because they don't want to try. There is a way to cope and beat depression and hard life problems but you HAVE to fight. You determine your own destiny and we all have our own struggles. Own it and continue to move forward. There is a difference between taking a break and giving up. The important part is realizing this because I know you can do it!

8. YOU NEED TO SLEEP

Sleep is so important. Find out how much sleep you need a night to feel rested. I am the queen of sleep deprivation. I have been sleeping much more lately, and I cannot tell you how much better I have been feeling. Being overly tired drained all my energy. My responsibilities felt like a chore. I would go about my long days thinking about how little sleep I would get until the weekend. It was completely exhausting. I know I am not the only one who feels this way. Many people have exhausting jobs and lives where sleep becomes difficult to get. I don't care. You need to make time for sleep! Eventually, it will catch up to you and hit you really hard if you go on and on without it.

9. Buy Lavender 

Yup, that's right - buy lavender! Whether it is a scented spray or oil - it is used by therapists as aromatherapy to relieve stress. A therapist I met in treatment uses it all the time. She gives it to patients who are upset in order to calm them down. I have used it myself. It not only smells good but it has a calming aroma. It is inexpensive and can be found at many grocery stores (Wegmans) or health stores. If you are still out of luck, here is a direct link to buy it online:

https://jet.com/product/detail/a2ba39ef12254cd480f...

10. Wrap Yourself in a Weighted Blanket

This is another great coping method. Weighted blankets feel like hugs. They make us feel safe and protected. Do you have a favorite blanket? If not - they are east to find. I have a huge fuzzy blanket from Target and I love using it. When we are feeling stressed or upset, blankets offer comfort and instant relaxation.

Self-care is so important. Physical health is just as important as mental health. There is no way the outside body can function without also working on the inside. Everyone is capable of living a beautiful happy life. Some people have additional steps than others, but by finding healthy coping methods and healthy ways of living, happiness is really possible. Put yourself first.