The Seeker

The Seeker


I am an individual lost in a sea of others.

Every day I rise to filter in-between

classes of few and many,

searching for a sense of understanding or belonging.

I am an individual lost in a sea of others.

The hometown I left behind has little

memory of me

except for those whom I call family.

The friends,

for which I have few

carry only remnants of what I was when I

left high school and see

only snapshots of life as they

scroll through social media.

I am an individual lost in a sea of others.

I pass by different people each waking moment of

my life and each one of them cares


but for the occasional passing smile filled

with empty courtesy

leaving me helpless but to awkwardly return it.

I am an individual lost in a sea of others.

Or so I believe.

Or so I believe

until one day someone comes along and tells me that they miss me.

Or so I believe

until one day someone comes along and tells me that they need me.

Or so I believe

until one day someone comes along and tells me that they love me.

I am an individual lost in a sea of others.

But maybe one day I will

wash ashore and

find that someone else is as

lost as I.

I am an individual lost in a sea of others.

But soon,

I will find my way home.

Cover Image Credit: Unsplash

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An Open Letter To The Girl Trying To Get Healthy Again

"I see you eating whatever you want and not exercising" - Pants

Dear girl trying to get back in shape,

I know it's hard. I know the hardest thing you may do all day is walk into the gym. I know how easy it is to want to give up and go eat Chicken McNuggets, but don't do it. I know it feels like you work so hard and get no where. I know how frustrating it is to see that person across the table from you eat a Big Mac every day while you eat your carrots and still be half of your size. I know that awful feeling where you don't want to go to the gym because you know how out of shape you are. Trust me, I know.

SEE ALSO: To The Girl Trying To Lose Weight In College

The important thing is you are doing something about it. I'm sure you get mad at yourself for letting your body get this out of shape, but life happens. You have made a huge accomplishment by not having a soda in over a month, and those small changes are huge. I understand how hard it is, I understand how frustrating it is to not see results and I understand why you want to give up. Being healthy and fit takes so much time. As much as I wish you could wake up the day after a good workout with the 6 pack of your dreams, that just isn't the reality. If being healthy was easy, everyone would do it, and it wouldn't feel so good when you got there.

Remember how last January your resolution was to get back in the gym and get healthy again? Think about how incredible you would look right now if you would have stuck with it. The great thing is that you can start any time, and you can prove yourself wrong.

Tired of starting over? Then don't give up.

You are only as strong as your mind. You will get there one day. Just be patient and keep working.

Nothing worth having comes easy. If you want abs more than anything, and one day you woke up with them, it wouldn't be nearly as satisfying as watching your body get stronger.

Mental toughness is half the battle. If you think you are strong, and believe you are strong, you will be strong. Soon, when you look back on the struggle and these hard days, you will be so thankful you didn't give up.

Don't forget that weight is just a number. What is really important is how you feel, and that you like how you look. But girl, shout out to you for working on loving your body, because that shit is hard.

To the girl trying to get healthy again, I am so proud of you. It won't be easy, it will take time. But keep working out, eating right, and just be patient. You will be amazed with what your body is capable of doing.

Cover Image Credit: Stock Snap

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3 Major Steps I've Taken And Learned From After 20 Years Of Life

After years of searching for myself, I think I’m starting to find some clarity and peace.

Each year on my birthday, I always look back on my major accomplishments and create new goals for what I hope to achieve in the upcoming twelve months of my life. After celebrating the biggest birthday I've had since birth ~my 21st~ I have realized how much I've changed in just the last short months before it alone.

Right before my birthday this year, an unexpected turn in life caused me to have to rethink everything that I had planned. This change put me through a season of depression as I felt helpless and unworthy, stuck at home alone for days. If not for the love and support from my family and friends, and a change that I knew needed to come in my life, I don't think I'd have been motivated enough to continue forward. But after reevaluating my life this time, here are some key changes that have impacted my life the most.

1. I’ve taken time to focus on myself.

What this means differs from day to day, but on the regular for me, it means just being mindful of my mental and physical health. This helps me eliminate unnecessary stressors because I’m no longer worried about always making everyone happy before myself. I quickly learned that I wouldn’t be looked at as rude or unkind just because I say no, and the moment I did I felt a great relief.

On other days, it’s a lot more than just being mindful of my choices. I had to learn how to sensibly balance not spending any money on myself and treating myself like I just won the lottery because no matter how old we get it’s always nice to reward yourself. I have rerouted my brain to stop feeling guilty each time I want to buy a new outfit or spend a day out with my friends. This has changed how I view money in relation to myself and my needs which has greatly improved my quality of life.

2. I actively seek to spend time with my friends.

After switching jobs this year, I lost my constant contact with ninety-percent of my friend group. This took a major toll on me and was the cause of much of my sadness. I’ve always been bad at keeping up with friends from school or old jobs once I had left those places, but with my new change in perspective, I knew that would not be the case here.

I now look forward to our coincided days off because I can enjoy my friends in an out-of-work environment and we can actually do exciting things. By actively seeking out time to meet with my close friends, I understand who I actually enjoy the company of and who I used to just tolerate because I had to see them daily.

3. I have started to love myself, and accept love from my friends and family.

It is a long and difficult journey to be at peace with who you are and accept yourself just the same. It took me years to finally surround myself with positive people who I feel never judge me for being myself and truly want the best for me. But now that I finally understand my support system and feel comfortable falling back on them when I need to, I feel confident in my ability to succeed and grow.

The amazing love and support from all my friends and family are how I got out of my slump this year, and without a doubt, I know they will continue to be there for the hardest times of my life. Their constant encouragement and advice make me feel like I have the ability to take on the world head on and achieve any goal I set my mind to.

Change can be a wonderful thing, and although sometimes unexpected, you never know if it can be the best thing to happen in your life. If I was never shifted out of my comfort zone, I don’t think my outlook on life and relationships would have changed. So with that said, I encourage you to embrace the changes in your life with open arms, I know you won’t regret it.

Cover Image Credit: Anete Lūsińa

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