You calmly awaken as the sun rises and birds are chirping next to your window introducing you to the beautiful day ahead. Your freshly brewed coffee is exactly how you wanted it, perfectly starting your morning right. You're on time, your outfit looks as slick as you were hoping, and everything is going your way. Today is going to be a good day.
But then, out of thin air, it happens. The storm that rains on your happy-day parade. This surge of disruption as you watch it in slow motion. A friend, perhaps even a stranger. The horror in their eyes while it occurs is now being passed into yours. You reach out an arm in anticipation, hoping that your attempt to help will prevent the ghastly incident from occurring. But it's too late. They fall. Slowly. Even peacefully, their body hits the floor, and the impact is like a thump to your heart. You get a rush of anger. Frustration. Why? Why right here? Why right now? You don't deserve to be a part of this humiliation. You begin blaming them for this humiliation you feel having to be the person they look to for emotional assistance. Blame fate: you're in the wrong place at the wrong time.
How. Dare. You. How dare you disrupt my glorious day with your humiliation. I now have to cope with the fact that I witnessed your humiliation. In fact, I feel like I was the one that fell to the ground and spilled my coffee all over myself. I lived through your embarrassment vicariously. Why couldn't you pay attention to where you were walking? Why did you have to be on your phone instead of focusing on that patch of ice you just slipped on? Because of you, I have to continue my day thinking about the second-hand embarrassment you gave me.
Oh, sure, pity yourself and think "but I was the one that fell, I have to cope with the fact that it happened to me. Nothing even happened to you." You know something, you sound so selfish for thinking that. Do you have any idea the kind of therapy I'm going to have to see after being a part of your humiliating experience? This is just traumatic. I cannot even being to wrap my head around how to properly cope. Sure, your shirt is completely stained. Your ears might be bleeding. You twisted your ankle and everyone laughed at you. But can you stop thinking about yourself for a second and think about the people you've affected around you? No one will be able to understand the second-hand embarrassment I got just being there because I watched it happen alone. Do you have any idea how much worse it is that I experienced your embarrassment alone?
I'll be accepting any and all apology letters for making me experience your embarrassment second-hand.
