Sometimes the things you love the most give you the biggest heartbreak. That was the case for me during my senior year of basketball.
Basketball had been my passion since I started playing in sixth grade. Basketball taught me so much about myself, teamwork, and competition. I played under a variety of different coaches who all taught me different aspects of the game that I took into account. I always saw myself as a leader on and off the court, and that to me was the most important part of my game. I never was a leading scorer, best free throw shooter, and for sure not the fastest player.
But I always did the dirty work, and that’s what I loved most about the game. Getting clinch rebounds, being physical during those 50/50 balls, and just being a strong outlet to give my teammates the ball. That was my favorite part of the game.
Many different things occurred from sixth grade basketball season to my senior year season. I played under many different coaches who all had their different goals and game plans. During my junior year, I decided I was done with basketball, that I was just burnt out. I felt that it wasn’t making me happy anymore and I had to step away. I eventually decided that I wanted to come back and play, I was let back on the team, but everything was much different than what it used to be.
Rolling into my senior season I was excited about my final season and I knew that our team would be better than ever. I was confident I was going to be able to revive the love of playing basketball, sadly I was wrong. My senior season did not go as I planned. Most of the time I felt like a burden to the team instead of being helpful. I lost extreme amounts of confidence in myself and my abilities on the court.
I felt embarrassed and ashamed every time I stepped on the court. I would come home many times from games or practices and cry myself to sleep. Basketball for the longest time had been my outlet, and now I felt as though it added to my personal issues. I no longer felt like a leader, I never wanted to speak up, so I put my head down and did the best I could with what I was given. Basketball is a team sport and I would never jeopardize my team’s chances because of my personal issues. Our team lost in the first round of states, and I thought this is the end. My memory of the game I used to love, is now a memory of heartbreak.
Going into college I had no real intention of ever playing basketball again. I didn’t want to focus on the memories I had of the game. I wanted to forget about it and focus on something else, that’s until I saw a posting for a women’s recreational league. I thought to myself this might be my only chance to play again. I wanted a second chance at basketball. I signed up and have been going to the gym with my team to practice before we’re scheduled our first game. Slowly I’ve felt myself start to remember all that I loved about the game. I’m glad I took the second chance I was given. I’m finally ready to make new memories of the game. I’m finally back.
