With so many social media platforms today, we are constantly trying to get noticed, constantly vying for other’s attention, and we are willing to do almost anything for a like or a retweet. We search for that thing that makes us unique, whether it be a knack for singing, a talent for writing poetry, or any other trait that may be our kernel toward fame.

However, often after we discover that thing that makes us special, we are not content without praise. You think to yourself, what’s the point of doing or being something if it doesn’t help me get noticed? Well, I hate to break it to you, but if you spend your time searching for praise, you will never, ever, be fulfilled.

Hear me out here: think about why you wanted to do something in the first place. I’ll use myself as an example. Why did I start singing? Well, I started singing because I found that singing was a cathartic release of emotion for me and that it brought me more joy than I can describe.

Next, think about why you put time into practicing and perfecting this skill. I spent hours in my basement, mulling over Broadway songbooks, trying to stretch my range, belting out notes I could barely hit (I apologize, Mom and Dad, that you had to listen to my screeching), and working constantly to improve my tone quality, because I wanted to be able to do something with this skill. I wanted to be able to keep experiencing this joy, and I wanted to be able to share this skill with others to possibly bring them some joy.

Lastly, think about how you could improve others’ lives with your skill and how will that bring joy to both you and them. I sang at a nursing home for memory care patients, and I cannot describe the way my heart warmed when I would hear these people, people who could barely remember the names of their children, remember lyrics to songs that they must not have heard for 20 years. I loved being able to bring smiles to their faces, and somehow help them access happy memories which may have been buried until that moment.

Now, what did I not mention as one of my reasons for singing? Desiring praise. Don’t get me wrong, I loved the short-lived high that the sound of applause gave me, but that’s all it was, short-lived. You should never do something with the sole purpose of desiring praise or attention; if you are, you are doing it for all the wrong reasons.

If you are writing controversial articles so that people will applaud your courage to broach such topics, you are doing it for the wrong reasons. If you are composing music so that people tell you how talented you are, you are doing it for the wrong reasons. If you are giving speeches and spreading a message because you want to be applauded for your articulation and thoughtfulness, you are doing it for the wrong reasons.

I think you get my point.

I’m not saying that you should reject praise when it is given to you, but do not search for it. Do not walk up to people and fish for compliments. Do not think that you should be applauded for “creating change” when all you do is send out a tweet. Do not become obsessed with how many likes you can get.

The people that truly deserve praise are the people who have never searched for it. Those people are doing what they do for all the right reasons. Stop trying to get attention. Stop trying to be praised. If you do, only then will you find true, unadulterated joy. I promise you that.