Warning: This article is going to be a very unpleasant but rewarding read for those of you who are willing to hear what I have say. I will not pull any punches in this article and I am going to address a very sensitive topic.

I am not white. Anyone who has ever met me, or even looks at my profile picture can figure that out pretty quickly. I have even written a few articles on the history of Hispanic-Americans and diversity on college campuses already, so yeah you could say that the topic of my ethnic background is important to me.

My article this week is going to address the fact that I am indeed half Hispanic. However, this week I want to give you a chance to read what it is like to walk a day in my shoes. I am not going to try and create some sort of academic discussion piece this week. This week I'm going to tell you what it is like to experience life the way I do.

"If you look the part, then you are the part."

"If you look the part, then you are the part." That phrase is one of the harshest life lessons that I have to continually keep learning as I go through life. It is a quote that my dad has told me for as long as I remember, and quite frankly it is something that you have to experience to understand fully.

When I walk into a room I am judged instantly by the way I look. Usually it starts off with my skin color, brown, and then with what I am wearing and how I carry myself. People have very strong preconceived notions of Hispanics and I instantly become an embodiment of those notions when I walk into a room for many people. Now do not get me wrong, not all people have that mentality of snap judgements. However learning to avoid snap judgements based upon how I look is crucial.

Snap Judgements

Visual stereotypes are real and powerful things in the world and I have to avoid embodying them. Hopefully I can explain what I mean by sharing some of my personal rules for how I present myself in public.

First some of the set-in stone rules that I will always adhere to. I never shave my head completely and I always keep my hair in a very neutral style. I will never get a tattoo, the thought of even considering a tattoo is asking for trouble. I will never get a piercing, especially on my ears. I never wear bagging, ripped, or loose fitting clothing in public. I will only wear the jerseys or hats of certain sports teams, for example I wear Angels instead of Dodgers for baseball and I am a fan of any team not named the Raiders.

Second are some more specific examples of how I choose to tailor my appearance. I always dress up for when I travel, at minimum I wear a polo shirt. I generally try to avoid wearing any accessories that hint at a negative perception, aka I do not go around wearing "viva Mexico" wristbands or a rosary all the time.

So yeah, as you can see there's a lot of easily visible things that I have to think about just in everyday life to change people's instant reactions of me. These are all the things I have to think about before I even try and do anything!

Actions and Their Consequences

Perhaps more importantly than preventing people from judging me on my appearance is preventing them the opportunity to judge me because of my actions. The harshest and most frightening responses I have personally experienced and that we see in our culture around race are because of how people react to how they think others will act.

I CANNOT AFFORD to give people the benefit of the doubt on that issue, otherwise I am not protecting myself first. I only say that because I have had to learn the hard lesson of what happens if I do give people the benefit of doubt. Trust me, if you had to worry about people yelling things, like "Go back to your own country!" or practically running you off the road screaming anti-Islamic obscenities (those I will not repeat), at you then you would adopt the same attitude. Controlling my behavior is paramount for protecting my own safety in a public setting.

I act very respectful and straight-laced, perhaps sometimes even over the top, because I have to distinguish myself as obviously as possible from stereotypes around people of color. I do not even dare act disrespectful to law enforcement officials or any other type of security official. I almost never speak any kind of Spanish when I am in certain public places, and I certainly do not make overtly obvious jokes or commentary about minority issues or racism. The most overt and painful responses I have had to endure is when I give people an excuse to have a racist response.

Harsh Realities to Sustain Success

I understand that I potentially sound a little melodramatic or that I come across as a little harsh in describing the standards that I just finished writing about. However, I do have to admit that these standards have helped to make me successful. By actively trying to impose such strict standards on myself, I learned to stand apart and be "an exception to the rule" as my high school principal once told me. In fact, I pride myself on my ability to be an ambassador for a different image of Hispanics in the United States in contrast to many of the "popular stereotypes."

So yes while it may seem unfair that I have had to tailor my look and my behavior to actively fight against a powerful racial and cultural stereotype, I am truly ok with that. In an ideal world I would not have to worry about this issue of appearance and snap judgement, but to be honest, I do not want to live in a world like that. Learning to create the person I am today-- that follows and upholds personal standards-- has taught me a tremendous amount about myself and other people. I have learned a lot of skills like discernment, patience, and discipline from having to try and create a version of myself that can overcome the strong images my darker complexion automatically brings with it.

Yes, this article is not exactly a heartwarming story of striving to create a utopian world where everyone is colorblind. However, I hope you have gained some insight into what it is like to step into my own shoes on a daily basis and how I have chosen to view the world. We all have a different reality that we have to live with, and we all project a different image in response to our reality. I hope you choose to carefully examine your own reality and see how it has affected your own lifestyle choices.