We wake up in the morning and catch a glimpse of ourselves in the mirror - is that really what I look like? We poke and prod at our stomachs, wishing we could be justtttt a bit taller and maybe a few pounds thinner. We have bad days: walking down the street wondering if those snarling faces are recoiling in disgust at our latest haircut. In our darkest moments, we can be brutal to ourselves. Can we really be as ugly, dumb, and unloved as we think we are?

Yes! Behavioral researchers from the Massachusetts Institute of Technology have finally found the answer to the question we never wanted answered. Years of painstaking research have revealed that all everything you’ve been insecure about is totally and unequivocally true. Remember when you were worried that everyone saw you slip on those stairs?

Didn’t it seem like you might have played it off? Nope. Everyone saw. They hated you for it. Concerned people think you’re too short? Too tall? Either way, you’re spot on! Unless you’re utterly confident that you’re perfect, then this is bad news for you.

This groundbreaking research lays to rest questions that have haunted us for our entire lives. Were you awkward in high school? Yep. Were you trying too hard on that first date? Clearly. Did you look fat in that dress? You bet, porky pig! You can be sure that every moment of self-doubt in your life was completely deserved. Each nagging ounce of worry was actually your body trying to protect you from the scorn of the people you respect most!

Subsequent studies from Harvard and UC Davis have taken the astounding conclusions even further. It appears that not only are you right in every insecurity you have; people are, in fact, judging you for it. In a nationwide survey, 99.999% of respondents confirmed that they did snicker to all their friends the second you turned your back. The remaining .0001% is, unfortunately, you.

However, much to the chagrin of esteemed universities, some independent groups have found data to the contrary. Some suggest that the world doesn’t have you under a microscope. Reports explain that, perhaps, you will always be fixated on the person in your own skin. For every ounce of attention you give to your faults, it appears that most other people spend the same amount of time drowning in their own insecurity. It has been suggested that while you may wake up and think immediately of your own glaring imperfections, every other person may not be equally as concerned with you.

Reports suggest that we compare ourselves to the images of other that they work so desperately to project, and dismay when we find that we can not exclusively experience those same moments for ourselves.

Seeing updates on social media and hearing about great adventures offer us a highlight reel of the lives around us. We however, are at work in the editing room 24/7. Scientists have found that following birth and before death, we are expected to experience nearly 100% of our own life. Those lives, it seems, can’t always be perfect. These scientists have offered, in conclusion, that if we accepted the astronomical difference between the reality of living a life and our brief glimpses into others’ worlds, then we might not be so insecure. Those findings have been dismissed as ludicrous.