Why You Shouldn't Brag About Saving Yourself For Marriage
Swoon

Stop Bragging About Saving Yourself For Marriage, I Am Too, And It Doesn't Make Us Better Than Anyone

It's unbecoming, and unrewarding.

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Stop Bragging About Saving Yourself For Marriage, I Am Too, And It Doesn't Make Us Better Than Anyone

"Beware of practicing your righteousness before other people in order to be seen by them, for then you will have no reward from your Father who is in heaven." (Matthew 6:1)

I'm a proud Christian, and a virgin, still just as proud. I'm someone who likes to be ~cool~ and strives to live a life that reflects Jesus while being true to the personality and characteristics the good Lord gave me. Not everyone agrees with my style but that's OK, it's my style. This is obviously all just my opinion, so let's get down to brass tacks: Nothing is quite as lame as girls who think they deserve gold stars or that they're the best thing since sliced bread just because they haven't had sex, and won't until they're married.

As Christians, we're called to do a lot of things. Love thy neighbor (Matt. 22:36-40), honor thy mother and father (Ex. 20:12), and not have sex before marriage (1 Thes. 4:3-5). But believe it or not, a lot of Christians don't follow any number of things the Bible commands of us. We simply cannot keep the law, and therefore Jesus entered the picture, hung on the cross, and literally saved our lives. So, you're not exactly winning souls for Christ by getting up on your high "I'm-so-pure" horse. Quite honestly, you seem like you're complaining or worse, parading your righteousness in front of others. I know it's annoying to be under-appreciated in any arena, and especially in today's world where almost no one values purity, but we're not promised value by earthly standards, we're already of value by heavenly ones.

So what bothers me so much about this narrative that we're 'oh so special' because we've held fast to this one commandment?

We all have a past. That doesn't mean it's some crazy promiscuous one. Some people have killed other people, or robbed someone, or cheated in relationships or business. Being a virgin is NOT the end-all-be-all of whether or not a Christian is "special" or "worthy." Our worth is defined by Christ's actions on the cross and in overcoming the grave, not by our past, forgiven mistakes.

I know countless strong Christian husbands and wives who had sex before marriage. I know couples who had sex with *gasp* other people before marriage, and I know couples who were both virgins on their wedding night. Guess what? They all have had to repent for things in their life, and did, so they freely walk in having Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior, and leader of their marriage, despite anything in their past. Without hesitation, I'd put big bucks on them making it all the way "til death do us part", and seeing each other again in heaven.

Am I saying we should throw caution to the wind and just have sex?

Absolutely not. We should do everything within our power to remain as pure as possible until we're bound in blessed holy matrimony. What I am saying, however, is that we should get our noses out of the air based on this one fact. Trust me, I've looked down my nose at others because I knew what they were doing on most nights. But I can't even begin to explain how counterintuitive and downright un-Christian it is to do that. We're supposed to "in humility, consider others better than [ourselves]" (Phil. 2:3). I'll point you once again to Matthew 6:1, where Jesus, in the middle of the Sermon on the Mount, commands us to NOT call attention to our righteousness. Christ humbled himself to the point of the cross (Phil. 2:8). Let's stop thinking we're better than others for this one hill we've chosen to die on, that Christ already died and rose for.

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